


Into the Unknown

by TheDifficultSpoon



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 41,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9284876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDifficultSpoon/pseuds/TheDifficultSpoon
Summary: Who needs a six pack when I've already got a Super Corp? Get it? Get it? ... anyway, this picks up after Myriad and just runs with it. To where? I don't know. Fanfic is a journey, not a destination. Except maybe Kara's bed. Ayoooo.I promise my writing is better than this summary.Well, maybe.





	1. Released

Was it worth it?

Lena stared at her reflection. She knew there was an officer watching her on the other side of the mirror. When they had brought her in to the station with her mother, she had felt exhilarated, triumphant. That _woman_ had never loved her and now Lena had finally given her a taste of her own medicine. To see her face when she realized Lena had switched the isotope and stopped the disease from wiping out the alien population … it had felt like Christmas, even though it was only Thanksgiving.

But was it worth it?

She had wanted to prove that she wasn’t a Luthor, that she was capable of being good and doing the right thing, but … had she done the right thing? When Kara had asked her about her mother, she had dismissed her. When Supergirl had told her about her mother being the leader of Cadmus, she denied it. Even worse, when Supergirl had mentioned the virus, Lena knew her mother would need the isotope. She could have given it to Supergirl, but she didn’t. She had wanted revenge, revenge on the woman who had spent so many years making her feel unlovable and unworthy of the Luthor name. It had felt so good to scheme up her plan, to take matters into her own hands, and to crush her mother’s dreams in such a dramatic display of betrayal.

It felt … _too_ good. And it scared Lena.

Maybe she was no better than her adoptive family. Maybe she _was_ worthy of the Luthor name. After all, who other than a Luthor could be capable of such calculating, over-the-top pettiness?

“Miss Luthor?”

Lena pulled her gaze away from the mirror and turned to see a woman standing in the doorway.

“I … know you,” she said, eyeing the woman carefully before a wave of recognition flooded over her, “You’re Kara’s sister.”

“Yes. Special Agent Alex Danvers,” said Alex.

“Are you here to interrogate me, _Special Agent_ Danvers?”

 “Actually,” said Alex, “It seems you’re being released.”

“Released?” Lena looked surprised, “I launched a rocket above the city.”

“And alerted the police. And saved millions of lives doing so.”

“Alien lives.”

“Does that matter?”

Lena hesitated. Any other Luthor would say yes, it did matter. Did Lena really care about the aliens or did she just want to care so she could be different from her family? No, there was at least one alien that she truly cared about, and if anything happened to that alien …

“No, I guess it doesn’t matter,” said Lena, “So that’s it? I’m free to go?”

“Well, there is obviously going to be a hearing, and we will be watching you, and, next time, we expect you to be more cooperative instead of trying to handle things on your own.”

“ _We_ as in the _FBI_ or _we_ as in, you, Kara, and Supergirl?”  Lena asked, cocking an eyebrow as she put on her coat and collected her things.

Alex cleared her throat uncomfortably and pulled a business card out of her jacket “How about you just start with me, and we’ll go from there.”

Lena looked at the card thoughtfully, tracing a finger along its edges.

“I’ll be sure to keep this handy,” she said, slipping the card into her coat pocket.                 

“See to it that you do,” said Alex, stepping aside to allow Lena to pass into the hallway. “I gave up a very good evening to come down here to check on you.”

“Check on me?” Lena stopped walking and turned to face Alex, “I thought you said you were here to release me?”

Alex shook her head, “I’m here because my sister wanted to make sure that you’re okay, and she doesn’t have the credentials to come and see for herself.”

Lena blushed. _Kara._ “Did she really?”

Alex eyed Lena curiously. “Yes, I’m not sure how she does it, but my sister somehow has made a habit of befriending the most powerful women in National City.”

Lena’s jaw set and her eyes turned to ice, “Powerful _women_?” Her words were like daggers.

Alex reflexively took a step backward. “Well, you and Cat Grant.”

Lena relaxed when she realized it was a list with only two names, “Kara says that Cat’s like a mentor to her.”

“You are too,” said Alex, “After all, she decided to be a journalist after talking with you.”

Alex could see Lena’s jaw muscles tightening. Her voice was sharp, “I like to think of myself as more of a _friend_ than a mentor. Besides, Kara’s a natural journalist. I’m sure she would have come to that decision even without my assistance.”

“Either way,” said Alex, her voice turning serious, “Kara’s a good person, and you and Cat may have a lot of influence, but you also have a lot of enemies. Wherever Cat is right now, I know that it’s not here getting Kara into trouble. I can’t say the same for you.”

“I have no intentions of putting Kara into any danger,” said Lena, defensively.

“Right, like when you invited her to that party, which was actually a trap you set?” Alex crossed her arms to emphasize her point.

Their eyes met as each woman sized up the other.

Lena finally nodded and broke into a disarming smile, “Point well taken. But please know that I would never wish any harm on Kara.”

Alex sighed, “Just keep her out of your future plans. And remember to clue me into them.”

“Of course,” said Lena, “Because, next time, you might not release me.”

 Alex put up her hands, “Like I said, I’m only here to check on you.” She nodded toward the station’s front doors. “But somebody was willing to vouch for you.”

Lena shot Alex a confused glance before walking cautiously to the door. She hadn’t expected to be released so soon, or at all, really. She had her lawyers prepared for that part, but she hadn’t had time to get her security in place. Cadmus would be after her for what she had done, and her mother wouldn’t stop pulling the strings, even if they did manage to keep her behind bars. Whoever had released Lena was probably doing so at her mother’s request, so that they could deal with Lena’s betrayal within the family.

When she got to the door, the breath caught in her throat. Her heart was already racing in anticipation of whatever fate awaited her. She had expected to see one of the long black limos with its tinted windows idling by the curb. Instead, the moonlight danced off a swirling mane of blonde hair and a red cape whipped in the wind. Supergirl had her back to the station, hands on her hips, as if guarding all those within from whatever forces may try to come through the front doors.

Lena bit her lip and took a step out into the cold.

At the slightest sound of the door opening, Supergirl turned. The hardened look on her face immediately transformed into one of both delight and concern. In a single bound, she met Lena at the top of the station stairs.

“Are you alright?” her blue eyes searched Lena’s green eyes for any sign of pain.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Lena could barely meet her gaze. This woman had trusted in her, and Lena had betrayed her too. She had lied to her. She had kept her in the dark. She had been a Luthor.

“They weren’t rough with you? They didn’t question you too hard? They –“

“I’m fine,” Lena instinctively put a hand on Supergirl’s chest to stop her questioning. “I’m a Luthor. This isn’t my first time being questioned by the police.”

Supergirl looked down at Lena’s hand and back up at Lena. She began to blush, almost the color of her cape. “Uhm – I – Uh –“

A jolt of embarrassment shot through Lena as she realized what she had done. She pulled her hand away as if it had just touched a hot stove.

“Anyway,” said Lena, turning away from Supergirl and her searching blue eyes, “I should go.” She gave the hero a sidelong glance, “Thank you,” she said. “For everything you’ve done for me.” It sounded so final. 

Lena began to make her way down the stairs, cupping her one hand as if it were injured from Supergirl’s touch.

“Lena,” the voice was soft, pleading.

Lena turned, coming face to face with the House of El coat of arms.

“Let me take you home. It’s late and it’s not safe out here for you right now,” Supergirl reached out to take Lena’s hands, and Lena flinched away, reflexively. She could see the hurt and confusion flash across Supergirl’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Lena said, “I – I’m not used to … I’m not used to being touched.”

She might as well have stabbed Supergirl with a knife made of kryptonite.

“No, no, I should have asked before assuming –“

“No, it’s not your fault! It’s my weird family, and I’ll just get a cab”

“I was going to fly you, but I can walk you home if it’s too much. I know you hate to fly!”

“Oh please, I live like five miles from here, and I’m sure you have very important hero business –“

The two were stumbling through their sentences, trying to talk over each other. Their words came to a sudden halt as a black SUV pulled up in front of them.

Supergirl took a protective step in front of Lena, shielding her from the SUV. Lena peered out from behind the cape and watched a tinted window slowly roll down.

“Both of you, get in the damn car,” came a familiar voice. In the driver’s seat was a police officer Lena thought she recognized from earlier in the evening, and leaning across her from the passenger seat was Agent Danvers.

Supergirl’s strong shoulders seemed to relax immediately. Lena had seen Supergirl and Agent Danvers working closely together during her L Corp launch. If Supergirl trusted her, Lena would too. After all, she was Kara’s sister. Supergirl raced down the steps and opened the SUV door for Lena, making sure she was safely inside and doing a quick scan of the surroundings before climbing in the back with her.

“It might be better if I fly up ahead and scout the area,” she said.

“Because that’s not inconspicuous at all,” said the driver.

Alex laughed, and then tried to hide it by clearing her throat, “Maggie’s right. We don’t want to draw any extra attention to ourselves, and you used up a lot of energy tonight chasing that rocket.”

Supergirl could see both Maggie and Alex watching her in the rearview mirror. Maggie gave Alex a look that Supergirl didn’t quite understand. Alex smiled, and they both glanced back at her again.

“Fine,” she said dismissively. She decided to ignore them and turned her head to face Lena. They were so close, they almost bumped noses. Lena’s green eyes took up the entirety of Supergirl’s vision. She looked down and realized she and Lena were both gravitating toward the middle of the SUV’s seat bench. Their thighs weren’t touching, but Supergirl could still feel the heat radiating from Lena. Was that why Maggie and Alex had been looking at her that way?

“Soooorry” she said, trying to regain her composure as she pulled herself backward across the car seat.

“For what?” Lena’s voice sounded disappointed.

Supergirl’s super hearing could barely make out Maggie’s snort over the pounding of her own heartbeat in her ears.

“I didn’t mean to – you said touching isn’t – I – “ she took a deep breath. She was Supergirl. Lena and Maggie didn’t know she was also Kara Danvers, but if she kept acting like this, it would be hard not to figure it out. Maybe Kara would trip over her words in front of Lena, but Supergirl was composed, in charge, ready to take the lead and save the gir- the day. Ready to save the day. She felt her voice drop an octave as she straightened her back and put on a stern look, “I’m sorry for invading your personal space without permission. And for assuming you’d let me take you home.”

Lena didn’t say anything at first. Supergirl watched the way Lena’s teeth bit into her ruby red lip, and how the muscles on her neck flexed when she turned to face her.

Lena reached out a hand. It hesitated at first, hovering over Supergirl’s for just a moment before making contact. She gave Supergirl’s hand a gentle squeeze, her eyes widening slightly in surprise when she felt how strong and how soft Supergirl’s hands were.

“You _invading_ my personal space is the only reason I am alive today,” Lena said softly.

Supergirl turned her hand over, letting Lena’s hand drop into her palm. For the first time that night, Lena didn’t flinch or attempt to pull away. “And the only reason most of the aliens of National City are alive today is because you were willing to go against your own mother.”

“She’s not my mother,” said Lena, coldly. “And she never failed to remind me of that.” She looked down, trying to hide the tears shimmering in her eyes.

Still holding Lena’s hand in hers, Supergirl reached out with her other free hand and gently cupped Lena’s cheek, lifting her gaze. “Lena,” she felt her stomach flutter. It felt like her first day of school or when she pulled herself out of the bay after stopping her sister’s plane from crashing, or like the first time she put on her Supergirl suit. She didn’t know what she wanted to say. She didn’t want to say anything. She leaned forward, her hand pulling Lena’s face towards her. Or was Lena leading her hand. She couldn’t tell.

Supergirl barely had time to register the lights coming toward them.

“ALEX!” She shouted. Her sister was out of her range, but Supergirl instinctively wrapped herself around Lena just as the impact hit. The rear door would have caved in if it were not for Supergirl’s own legs pushing the door back. As the SUV rolled, she reached out one hand to hold her sister in place while the other arm held Lena in a tight embrace.

When they finally stopped rolling, she could already smell the smoke. They needed to get out fast, but her x-ray vision showed her that the truck that had rammed them was still there. She felt Lena pushing against her, struggling to reorient. Hopefully that meant she was unharmed. Alex was also pulling at her seatbelt, attempting to free herself so that she could check on Maggie.

“Alex,” said Supergirl, “Get them as far away from here as fast as you can.”

Alex wasn’t listening. Her hands were fumbling over Maggie’s limp form, searching for signs of life.

“Alex!” Supergirl said more desperately.

“I’ll take care of it.” Lena said, pulling herself from Supergirl’s grip. “Go.”

They locked eyes for a moment. All of the fear, the insecurity, the sadness that Lena had shown just moments ago were gone, replaced by a cold resolve. Supergirl didn’t even need to explain what she needed to do; Lena understood.

Supergirl nodded, giving one last lingering glance to her sister before bursting forth from the SUV, using the crushed car door as a shield against the barrage of gunfire that greeted her. She wasn’t worried about herself, but knew that any stray bullet could find its way into the SUV.

These men wanted to get to Lena, and they were willing to kill her sister and Maggie to do so. Supergirl felt her anger flare as white hot lasers pushed forth from her eyes. She sent men sprawling, their high tech weapons melted down to nothing. She didn’t care if she was already exhausted. She didn’t care if she had to use every ounce of her strength. If Cadmus wanted to kill her, that was one thing. But nobody goes after her family.

It wasn’t until she heard the explosion that she was able to shake herself of her anger. The Police sirens were pulling closer, and all around her lay unconscious bodies. She didn’t have time to worry about them. They’d live. Hopefully a long time in a small jail cell.

“Alex?” she shouted, flying toward the SUV which was now sending flames licking up into the night air. The entire inside had combusted. No one could have survived that.

“Supergirl!” It was Lena’s voice, coming from a back alley on the other side of the SUV.

Supergirl dashed into the darkness. Lena and Alex were hovering over Maggie, who was attempting to shoo them away. Every time she tried to sit up, Alex gingerly yet firmly pushed her back down.

“You need to stop moving, Maggie. You definitely have a concussion, but I can’t tell if anything else is broken, and we’ve already risked moving you enough.”

Lena looked helplessly at Supergirl. “We had to pull her out, but if she broke her back in the crash then …” she didn’t want to finish that thought. If Maggie had broken any part of her spine, moving her could have done permanent damage. On the other hand, if they had left her in the SUV, she would have been dead from the explosion.

Supergirl gently stepped over Maggie and began scanning her with her x-ray vision. “Dislocated shoulder. Cracked rib. I don’t see any spinal injuries, but I’m not a doctor.”

Alex breathed a sigh of relief, “At least it’s a start.” She turned to her sister, as if remembering she was there for the first time. “What about the men who - ”

“Taken care of” Supergirl said. “And the ambulance is on its way.”

Alex nodded, “You should take Miss Luthor and get out of here.”

“I’m not leaving you!” Supergirl said, her voice betraying how offended she was at the idea.

“And if Cadmus finds out that Lena Luthor is still alive, what do you think they’ll do next? You need to take her and go.”

“I can – I can just get myself home.” Lena suggested.

“No!” both women said at once.

Supergirl turned toward her, “I know you hate to fly, but –“

Lena let out a deep breath, “Just don’t drop me.”

“Never.” Supergirl said as she scooped Lena up into her arms. She felt Lena wrap her own arms tightly around her shoulders.

“Oh God, I can’t look,” Lena said, burying her head in Supergirl’s neck.

Supergirl wondered if Lena could feel the blood pulsing through Supergirl’s veins or the heat rising on her skin. “I’m going to be watching until I know you’re safely in that ambulance,” said Supergirl, turning to her sister once more.

Alex nodded. Her gaze lingering questioningly over her sister. There was no reason to protest.

Lena let out a whimper as she felt Supergirl leave the ground. She didn’t know how long they hovered over the alley. Only the wind against her back made her realize they had begun flying, presumably toward her home.  Did Supergirl know where she lived? Her stomach was in knots and her heart was racing, but this wasn’t her normal panic of flying. Maybe the near death experience had given her this extra adrenaline. Or maybe it was the arms enclosed so securely around her.

Lena never felt Supergirl touch down. It wasn’t until she felt her own back press against the soft fabric of a couch that she realized they had landed.

This wasn’t her apartment. It looked oddly familiar, though it was hard to tell in the darkness.

“Where are we?” she asked.

Supergirl knelt before her, taking both of Lena’s hands gently in her own. “I can’t take you home. That’s the first place Cadmus will be looking for you. But I have a friend who lives here. A friend I trust. You’ll be safe here, at least for now.”

“What about you?”

“I need to go, but I’ll be back to check on you. It’s going to be okay.”

Supergirl was on her feet and out the window before Lena could protest. “Wait!” She said softly, but Supergirl was already gone.

A few moments later, a light flickered on in the other room, its brightness seeping through a crack under the door.

Lena tensed against the couch, squinting as the door opened and she tried to make out the silhouette in the doorway.

“Lena?”

Lena let out a sob of relief, “Kara!” She managed to pull herself up off the couch only to feel herself begin to fall. Did she imagine it or had Kara crossed the room in under a second, just in time to pull her into an enveloping hug. Lena collapsed into it, too tired to hold on, but not wanting Kara to let go. Kara eased her back down onto the couch.

“What happened? Are you alright? How did you-“ Kara dropped the questions when she saw the exhaustion in Lena’s eyes.

“Supergirl brought me here,” explained Lena.  She looked at Kara’s matching pajama set – little ducklings playing in puddles -, her hair piled on top of her head, and her glasses resting askew on her face.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t really have a say, and I don’t want to intrude.”

“Stay.” Said Kara, “And tell me all about it. … Off the record, of course.”


	2. Advantage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lena realizes she may not have the upper hand on her mother and questions whether she's taking advantage of her friendship with Kara and Supergirl.

 Lena took another sip of the wine that Kara had poured for her. Once they had made sure Kara’s sister was safe and that Maggie would be okay, Lena had given Kara a full recap of the night. Retelling the events of the evening had been painful, but Kara listened; only asking questions to clarify when Lena would jumble her thoughts.  For someone who had only been a reporter for a short time, Kara seemed to have a natural gift for it. Or maybe this is how friends always listened to each other. Lena didn’t know; she never had any.

“But you’re okay?” Kara went to take Lena’s hand, but stopped. She made an awkward attempt to hide the motion by brushing some imaginary lint off of the couch.

“Well, I can’t lie, Kara, I’m scared. My mother and I never had a great relationship, but we did stay out of each other’s way. There’s no recovering from this, though.”

“At least she’s behind bars, right? Not much she can do from there.”

Lena gave Kara a pitying look. “You really do have such optimism, don’t you?”

“Hope,” corrected Kara.

Lena leaned her head back on the couch and sighed, “How long do you think they’ll be able to hold her, Kara? What proof do they have that she’s Cadmus besides Supergirl’s word? All her lawyers need to do is argue that this is a case of a Super unjustly targeting a Luthor because of her name.”

“She launched a missile at the city!”

“No, Kara, I did! I turned the key. I launched the rocket.” Lena stood up suddenly, her fists clenched with rage, “She knew,” she practically spat the words. “No. She didn’t _know_. She just didn’t trust me.”

“Are we … still talking about your mother?” Kara watched as Lena began pacing, putting the pieces together in her mind.

“She had me do it all, Kara. Me or that lackey of hers. Don’t you see? She knew if we got caught, I would be the one to blame. She can argue whatever she wants. She can say that I kidnapped her or that she was trying to stop me or that she had no idea what I was planning. Even if I testified, it would mean nothing. It would be her word against mine.”

“But you were the one to call the police!” said Kara.

“She could just say that I was trying to set her up to take the fall for me.”

Lena felt her composure cracking. She wanted to scream or break something. Then she caught a glimpse of Kara, sitting on the couch, her legs tucked up under her, arms wrapped around a pillow, watching Lena with such worry etched across her face.

Lena let out a sigh of frustration and sat back down. “I’m sorry, Kara. The last thing I want to do is get you mixed up in any of this.” Lena shook her head, “Except …”

“Except what?” asked Kara.

“You already were, weren’t you?”

Kara furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“That piece you were writing, “Successful Women and the Mothers Who Raised Them,” or whatever you called it … that wasn’t really a thing, was it?”

Kara felt her cheeks flush, and not just because Lena’s green eyes were locked on her. “I – well – I –”

Lena sighed, “It’s okay, Kara. That’s what reporters do. And I’m starting to get a picture of just how close you and Supergirl are. You certainly are valuable assets to each other. You hunt down information for her, and she uses it to save the day and give you a story. Very symbiotic.”

“We’re … friends. Friends help each other.”

“Do friends lie to each other?”

Kara put both of her hands up defensively, “Lena, I – _we_ – didn’t want to deceive you, but I – _we_ – needed to know what you knew or if you could help me – _us_ – with stopping Cadmus.”

“You could have just asked, Kara.”

“Oh yeah because you are not defensive _at all_ when anyone tries to ask you about Luthors doing anything bad,” Kara said, rolling her eyes, before remembering who she was talking to. “Sorry, that –“

Kara could see the muscles on Lena’s jaw tighten.

“Maybe it’s that I’m tired of being distrusted simply because of my name. … I should go,” Lena said, stiffly. She stood up, turning her attention away from Kara as she began putting on her coat.

“Lena, please.  Don’t go.” Kara peeled herself off of the couch to follow Lena to the door. As Lena reached out for the doorknob, Kara defensively put her own hand on it first. Lena’s hand enclosed around Kara’s. Instead of recoiling – as Kara had expected – Lena stood there, staring at both of their hands enclosed around the doorknob. After a moment, she turned her gaze to Kara.

It was hard to stay mad at Kara. She was so naïve and innocent and pure. The look of determination and defiance on her face reminded Lena of a puppy trying to guard its first bone.

“Lena, I’m so sorry. I was basically adopted too, and, even though I was given the best family a person in my situation could ever ask for, I still struggle with trying to meet their expectations while also being my own person. I can’t even imagine what that’s like with the entire world watching and expecting you to … uhm …”

“attempt world domination through chaos and destruction?” Lena offered.

“That’s one way to put it,” said Kara. She smiled softly and could see a slight smile tug at the corner of Lena’s lips. They were such expressive lips.

Lena looked down at their hands again before looking back at Kara, “I think I’m the one who should be apologizing, Kara.”

“For what?” Kara was trying to focus on what Lena was saying, but a part of her couldn’t help but focus on the way Lena’s hand fit so perfectly on hers. It reminded her of earlier that evening.

 What would have happened if that truck hadn’t hit them?

“I …” Lena cleared her throat and took her hand off of Kara’s. She didn’t see the look of disappointment pass over Kara’s face because she was too busy staring at her own feet. Lena crossed her arms, defensively, “Kara, no one reaches my level in business without being a little bit ruthless.” Lena grimaced at the admission. “And we both know that I don’t have friends. Most people who want to be my friend do so because they want something from me.”

“Oh Lena, I hope you know I wasn’t trying to use our friendship to –“

Lena waved a hand dismissively before re-crossing her arms, “I’m not very good at friendship, Kara. I don’t trust people, and normally, my instinct to doubt them proves correct. I can understand why you would want to …” she paused, trying to find the right words, “approach me delicately about the situation with my mother. You’re right: my family is a sore subject for me.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that, Lena.”

“That’s not why I’m sorry, Kara. I’m sorry because I lied to you as well. You and Supergirl. And the two of you are really the closest thing to a friend that I’ve had in a very long time. Instead of trusting you, I deceived you both. I approached this entire _mess_ just like a Luthor. And for that, how will you,” she sighed, “or Supergirl, ever be able to trust me again?”

Kara tried to stifle a chuckle, which ended up coming out in a snort. Lena’s jaw tightened again.

“Lena,” she said softly, trying to ease the woman’s defenses, “I’m not laughing at your apology. I appreciate that. It’s just that … that’s kind of your thing.”

“What’s kind of ‘my thing?’” Lena asked coldly.

“You used yourself as bait at your L Corp launch to draw an assassin out of hiding. You invited me and Supergirl to your party to set a trap for the crew using the alien weapons. Granted, this is the first time you’ve launched a live rocket at National City, but it’s definitely not the first time you’ve put us all seemingly in harm’s way because of a secret plan you’ve concocted.”

“I hadn’t thought about that. I truly am a Luthor, aren’t I?”

“If being a Luthor means being brilliant and tactical and an amazing leader who can outsmart and outmaneuver the rest, then maybe you are. But it’s Lena who chooses to use that incredible brain power to help others. That’s you. Regardless of your name. I can promise you, Supergirl has had to do a lot of things to protect this city that keep her awake at night and make her question if she’s doing the right thing. She’ll understand. I know I do.”

Lena turned her head away, stoically blinking back a few tears. Kara wanted to reach out and wipe them away, but she resisted the urge.

“I doubt the rest of National City will be so understanding.”

“People fear those with power they cannot comprehend, and they are easy to mistrust once they’ve seen that power misused. Regaining trust isn’t easy. Supergirl, the Flash, Max _whatshisface,_ even Superman has had to deal with that.”

“Thank you, Kara. You truly are a good friend.”

“Friend,” said Kara, with a mix of happiness and disappointment.

They looked at each other. Lena smiled a sad, exhausted smile.

“How about we get some rest?” offered Kara.

“That sounds wonderful,” said Lena, as if just realizing the time “I’m sorry for keeping you up so late.”

It was Kara’s turn to wave a hand dismissively. “Thank you for confiding in me,” she said.

“Thank you for listening,” said Lena.

They stood for a minute in awkward silence.

“Uh, so,” said Kara, finally, “You can have my bed, and uh, I’ll just sleep out here on the couch. How does that sound?”

“I couldn’t ask that of you,” said Lena.

“ _Pffft_. It’s totally fine. Trust me, I’ve slept on this couch hundreds of times.”

“I’d be happy to sleep on the couch. I feel like I’m taking such advantage of you, as is.”

“Take as much advantage of me as you want,” said Kara.

They locked eyes again. Lena bit her lower lip. Kara felt her face flush.

“What I mean is –“

“Why don’t we share the bed?” blurted Lena.

She could see the panic flash across Kara’s face.

“If that’s okay. I don’t want to presume – ”

“If you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it – ”

“I really don’t want to be alone right now, and – ”

They were both blushing bright red, spilling their words out in two jumbled streams of embarrassment.

“Pajamas!” Kara practically shouted.

“What?” Lena looked at her in complete confusion.

“You need pajamas. And a tooth brush. I’m gonna get that out for you. Do you have a preference?”

“For a toothbrush?” Lena was still reeling in her thoughts.

“For pajamas,” Kara was talking while shuffling backward toward her bedroom, “Long pants? Shorts? Onesie?”

“I don’t normally wear pajamas,” said Lena, absently.

Kara wasn’t sure if the sound she made was human or even Kryptonian. She stumbled backward and braced herself in the bedroom doorway to keep from falling, splaying her arms out in an attempt to make it look casual.

“I wear nightgowns, typically.” Said Lena, “but of course anything you have would be lovely.”

“Right! Nightgowns. Psssh that’s … what I …. thought … you were …. referring to when … you said you …  didn’t… wear … okay….” Kara cleared her throat and practically dove out of sight into the bedroom, “I should probably have a big t-shirt or something in here somewhere.”

Lena bit her lip again and let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. Things were going to get much worse for her, but if she had Supergirl and Kara by her side, maybe she could actually survive this.

She gave one last fleeting glance at Kara’s front door and then turned to follow Kara into the bedroom.


	3. Spoons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena share a wonderful evening discussing silverware.

“So, this is nice,” said Kara.

The two were lying next to each other, rigid as boards, as they stared uncomfortably at the ceiling. The foot of space separating them in bed was like a neutral zone neither of them wanted to enter.

Lena turned her head toward Kara, her brow furrowed in thought, “Kara, earlier … never mind.”

Kara turned her head to face Lena. The breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight of Lena’s pale skin glowing in the moonlight. Her gaze traveled back to meet Lena’s. “No, it’s okay. What about earlier?”

“Earlier, you mentioned that you were also adopted. Is that … true?” Lena sounded hopeful. From day one, Kara had always seen the best in Lena, but if she could also understand this part of her …

Kara nodded, “It’s true. I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“No, of course not. I didn’t think you would. It’s just that, well, now I feel silly,” said Lena.

“Why would you feel silly?” Kara shifted onto her side, propping up on her elbow so she could rest her head on her hand.

“Because here I am railing on to you about the plight of the poor, adopted billionairess that I am, and you must think I’m – “

“Amazing,” said Kara, not letting Lena finish her thought.

“That is most certainly _not_ what I was going to say,” Lena shifted her position to match Kara’s.

“But it’s true,” said Kara. “I couldn’t have asked for a better family to call my own, but that doesn’t mean we’re without our problems. I can’t imagine if I had shown up here and – ”

“had to grow up in a family where you weren’t wanted? Weren’t loved? Weren’t ever good enough?” It was Lena’s turn to finish Kara’s thoughts. Her tone had no bitterness, just a sad exhaustion.

Lena was propped up on her elbow, her cheek resting in her hand as one of her long, delicate fingers twirled a loose strand of hair. Kara wanted nothing more than to reach out and tuck that strand of hair back behind Lena’s ear so that she could entwine those fingers with her own.

Kara had talked about her adoption a lot. With other alien refugees, like J’onn, She’d talked about being one of the last survivors of her kind. The isolation. The sense of loss. The responsibility. The pressure to assimilate combined with the burden of preserving all that once was her culture, her way of life. Talking about it couldn’t fix the pain. And some people, like her sister, would never truly understand. At least, she hoped they would never have to learn what it felt like. But talking did make her feel less alone. Had Lena ever had anyone to share in her pain, though? Had she ever had someone who could look at her and say “I understand?” Kara knew that their situations were different, but there were some core truths that they shared.

“Lena, I’ve felt misunderstood. I’ve felt … alone. I’ve felt like a guest who’s a burden on everyone. I’ve fought with my adoptive mom and fled in fear that she’d un-adopt me. I worried that Alex would never really see me as a sister. My family has lied to me because they wanted to protect me from my past. My family has put themselves at risk to keep me safe because of things my parents did. Sometimes I feel like an invasive species; I thrive, but at what cost to them? And they’ve never denied me these feelings because they love me so much, and I am so lucky to have them, and they are much of the reason I am the person I am today.”

Lena smiled, “I’m truly happy for you, Kara. It sounds like you have the family any adopted child would want.”

“I do. _I really do_. But that’s … that’s not my point. My point is, even with such an amazing family, I still struggled. I _continue_ to struggle with who I am and where I belong. Sometimes the pressure from them being so driven makes me feel like I have to always be my best in order to fit in. And sometimes I still doubt what is right and wrong, and if I make a mistake, I wonder if it’s because I have failed in meeting those expectations or if it’s a weakness or a trait of the family I truly came from. But you, Lena … _wow_. You‘ve had to face all of that and more, and you still have such a good heart. I want to live up to my family’s expectations. That empowers me, motivates me. You … You have your family’s expectations and reputation weighing you down and yet you haven’t let it crush you. ” Kara shook her head in amazement and then absentmindedly readjusted her glasses after the shaking had knocked them loose. “I don’t think I could have done that.”

“Kara, you make me sound like some sort of martyr. I’m not perfect, and I can’t say it was all bad. Lex – before he went off the deep-end – was a loving older brother. And I was given every opportunity and advantage in school and work, and whatever else I wanted to pursue.”

“And you made the most of it,” said Kara, encouragingly. “Your family may have opened the door for you, but you chose to walk through it, and you chose how you would use those opportunities. For good.”

Lena gave an embarrassed smile, “I should hire you to be my personal cheerleader.”

“I’ll dust off my pom-poms,” laughed Kara.

 Lena gave a look of amused surprise, “Oh? You have pom-poms, do you?”

Kara rubbed a hand across the nape of her neck, “Well, uh, if Alex had a phase, I always wanted to imitate it, so …”

“That’s adorable. You two seem really close. She’s very protective of you.”

“Oh no,” Kara sat up slightly, “Did she say something?”

“Just that she wants to keep you safe,” said Lena, reassuringly.

Kara settled back down, “Okay, good, because she can be a bit overprotective sometimes, and when she starts using her … FBI … training, she can be pretty scary.”

“If I can handle my mother, Kara, I think I can handle your sister.”

“I’d rather you _not_ handle my sister,” Kara mumbled.

Lena’s eyebrow arched questioningly.

Kara cleared her throat, backtracking quickly, “What I mean is, I just hope you two can also be friends.”

“So,” said Lena, trying to move the topic onto more comfortable grounds, “is this what you two do as sisters? Sleepovers where you stay up all night chatting?”

Kara beamed, “Well, sleepovers we don’t do _as much_ as when we were little, but yeah we talk about work and family and boy – or girl” she added hastily, “trouble. People trouble. We just share everything so we can be there for each other.”

“That sounds lovely,” said Lena, “Totally unimaginable, but lovely.”

“There’s a lot more cuddling though,” said Kara. It took her a minute to realize what she said, at which point she somehow managed to blanch and blush at the same time.

“I’ve never been a very … cuddly … person,” said Lena. “Probably because, with my family, there’s no one to really cuddle with,” she sounded almost disappointed.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, I mean, I wasn’t suggesting – I was just saying … because it’s different, and you asked –“ Kara was rambling.

“Does it help?” asked Lena, interrupting the word vomit spouting from Kara.

“Help?”

“Does it make you feel better? Cuddling, I mean.”

“Oh, uhm, yeah.” Kara thought for a moment, “Someone can be there for you emotionally, but when you feel them there, holding you, it’s like … you remember that you’re both together, physically. You know they’re _actually_ there, and they’re not just …” she sighed, “They’re not just some hologram … or something.”

The conversation tapered out, and they both sat with their own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity.

“Kara?”

“Yes, Lena?”

“Will you … not to be forward … I just …”

“Lena?”

“Yes, Kara?”

“Do you want to cuddle?”

“Can we? Or is that weird?”

“Oh, it’s weird. _It. Is. Most. Definitely. Weird_. But maybe just because we’re still such new friends, and you’re in my bed, and –”

“I feel like I’ve known you much longer, Kara.”

 “… I feel the same,” said Kara, softly.

“Right. Well, how do we … do this?” Lena said in her most authoritative tone.

Kara smiled. Whenever she felt uncomfortable, she imagined her Supergirl alter-ego taking over. Did Lena do the same thing?  Was nervous Lena hiding behind her powerful business executive alter-ego?

“Uh, okay, are you a big spoon or a little spoon?” asked Kara.

“What kind of ridiculous question is that?” scoffed Lena.

“Would you just answer it, please?”

“Kara, there are far more spoon types than just big or little. A soup spoon, for instance, is about the same size as a dessert spoon, but the bowl shape is what separates the two.”

Kara let out a snort of laughter, “I can’t believe you just said that!”

“It’s a valid observation, Kara!” said Lena, flustered.

“I’m sorry, I’ll brush up on my spoon etiquette for next time,” Kara said, wiping away a tear.

“See to it that you do,” sniffed Lena.

“But for now, maybe you should just turn on your left side and get comfortable and then I’ll be the big spoon and fit myself around you.”

“I prefer sleeping on my right side, to be honest.”

“Okay, but if you sleep on your right side, then we’d be face to face.”

“Is that a problem?”

“It’s not how the spoons work.”

“And spoons are vital to cuddling?”

“They can be. It just makes it easier for starting out.”

“So, should I be the big spoon, then?”

“You need to know what you’re doing to be the big spoon.”

“But you clearly don’t need to know anything about spoons.”

“You’re being difficult.”

“ _I’m_ being difficult? You couldn’t even tell me what type of spoon I am! Now I’m the difficult spoon. Add that to the list.”

“I cannot believe I am arguing with Lena Luthor about spoon types.”

“You can’t argue about something you don’t know.”

“You clearly are a business woman, not a politician, if that’s what you think.”

“Don’t change the subject. Why can’t we just switch sides?”

“Because this is my side of the bed,” whined Kara.

“If we’re cuddling, would we not both be on that side of the bed, anyway?”

“Fine,” said Kara, as she started to inch to the center of the bed, “because I’m such a good person.”

“A trust saint,” said Lena.

Despite how graceful Lena seemed when on two feet, wrapped in the sheets, she clambered over Kara with great difficulty.

Kara grunted, “That’s not where a knee should go,”

“Sorry! Ah! Your hand is not warm!”

They both paused, mid-transition. Lena was practically straddling Kara, who had one hand on Lena’s bare thigh to help push her over, and the other hand under Lena’s shoulder to keep her from elbowing Kara in the face. Lena’s hair was cascading down around both of them.

They probably would have remained frozen in that position for the rest of the evening, both unable or unwilling to move, if Lena’s hair had not brushed itself across Kara’s face, causing her to laugh at its feather-light touch.

Both began laughing at the absurdity of the situation, and, without realizing it, they completed their transition.

“Mmm,” said Lena, settling in, “Much better. You even warmed it for me.”

“I do what I can,” said Kara. She took a deep breath, “You’re sure about this?”

“Kara Danvers, I did not just make a fool of myself climbing over you for nothing.”

Kara grinned, though she knew Lena couldn’t see it, “I thought you were a picture of grace.”

“Oh shut it, and come be the Table Spoon or whatever you are.”

Kara slowly pressed herself up against Lena’s back. She could feel Lena gasp softly as their bodies met. She wondered if Lena could feel Kara’s heart pounding against her shoulder blade. Kara gently draped an arm over Lena, pulling her even closer. Her nose burrowed into Lena’s hair, which, despite the crash and subsequent fire, still smelled amazing, like blackberry and currant.

“Is this … okay?” asked Kara.

It took Lena a moment to reply. She hoped Kara didn’t realize it was because she had momentarily lost the ability to speak.

“This is nice,” said Lena.

“This _is_ nice,” murmured Kara, already falling asleep.


	4. Swerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Lena is afraid Kara might be spending too much time in her Lane.

They both woke with a start at the sound of the pounding on the front door.

Lena struggled against her disorientation, panicking when she realized someone else’s thigh was between her legs and there were arms wrapped around her waist.

“Mmmmph, Lena, it’s okay, I got it!” said Kara, her voice muffled against Lena’s body.

Kara began untangling their limbs and the sheets that had wound around them during the night.

Lena calmed herself, the memory of the night before coming back.

“Ow, Kara, that’s my hair!”

“Sorry! Sorry! My glasses uh, are a bit stuck.”

“In my hair?!? Who in their right mind wears their glasses to _sleep_!”

“I don’t know; I thought I might need them!”

“While you were _sleeping_?”

“Just hold still.”

“I would hold more still if you would quit _yanking my head back.”_

“Oh don’t be such a difficult spoon.”

Though it didn’t quite hurt, Kara let out an “oomf” at the shock of Lena’s elbow connecting with her ribs.

“I am _not_ a difficult spoon,” snapped Lena.

Kara managed to free her glasses and stood up with a shrug, “I mean, kinda.”

She ducked as a pillow hurtled over her head.

“Get the door,” said Lena with a challenging smirk.

Kara grinned. “Oh, it’s on.”

It was at that moment that Kara’s mind focused on the sight of Lena, in her bed, bare legs exposed, the sheets draped over her hips, the large t-shirt hanging off one shoulder, and the perfectly mussed bedhead (slightly more mussed from Kara’s detangling efforts). Her brain also took that moment to remember the danger Lena was in.

Lena seemed to have caught the change in Kara’s expression because she sat up suddenly, pulling the sheets around her as if they could protect her. “Kara –“

Kara swiveled toward the pounding on the door. She almost didn’t want to use her x-ray vision, didn’t want to know.

But she had to.

In all of the scenarios she could have created in her mind, Kara would never have imagined this.

“It’s okay, Lena. I … I recognize that knock.”

“ _That’s_ a knock? It sounds like someone found a battering ram.”

“I’ve got it.”

“Be careful.”

Kara shot Lena a reassuring smile before bounding toward the door, “Coming!” she called out.

The pounding stopped.

Kara flipped the latch and swung open the door. “Heeeey, what brings you here?”

Lucy Lane stood in the hallway with two armed guards. Lucy was in her dress uniform, which meant she was on official business.

“Is she here?” asked Lucy, scanning the room.

“Is … who … here?” said Kara, awkwardly.

Lucy put a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “Is that _really_ how you want to play this?”

From behind her, Kara heard Lena clear her throat. She and Lucy turned their attention to Kara’s bedroom doorway where Lena stood in nothing but her oversized t-shirt. There was a defiant expression in her eyes as if she purposefully wanted Lucy to see her this way.

Lena took a deep breath and then strode to meet the intruder, giving off as much of an air of confidence as she could muster.

“Lena Luthor,” she said, extending a hand to Lucy.

“Lucy Lane.”

“A Lane? Really? Well, this keeps getting better and better,” said Lena, dryly. “A friend of yours, Kara?”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed, “I would say we’re _more_ than friends.”

“Is that so? Kara’s _never_ mentioned you,” said Lena, taking a step forward.

“Oh? Do you two chat often about Kara’s personal life during your work meetings?” Lucy took a step toward Lena.

Kara slid herself into the diminishing gap between both women.

“Hey! You know what would be great? What if we all sat down and talked about why Lucy is here? How does that sound?” Kara swiveled her head from Lena to Lucy, desperation showing in her forced smile and panicked eyes.

The two women both flashed their most predatory smiles. It reminded Kara of wolves barring their teeth before fighting over their latest meal.

Lena broke first, her expression suddenly changing to a calculated friendliness. She swept her arm toward the couches as if she owned the place, “Please, Miss Lane, after you.”

Lucy pursed her lips and squinted, sizing up Lena and her sudden change in demeanor. “Uhuh” was all she said, as if answering a question only she had heard.

Lucy brushed past Kara and Lena and sat herself down on one of the couches, facing the doorway. Her attention suddenly turned back to the two guards who had accompanied her. “Please wait outside,” she said.

They left, closing the door behind them.

Kara sat down opposite Lucy. Lena sat down next to Kara. Had she sat any closer, she would have been in Kara’s lap.

“So, Lucy, first, wow, can I just say, you’re looking great. The AIC must really be treating you well,” said Kara, trying to break the ice.

Instead, she felt the chill of Lena’s gaze on her.

“Thank you, Kara,” said Lucy, her tone saccharine. “I can’t say it was my preferred placement, but if _Supergirl_ ” she turned her attention to Lena, “had _that much_ faith in me, who was I to say no?”

Lena’s gaze flickered between Kara and Lucy. She was too proud to admit that she was lost by the conversation.

“Speaking of which,” said Lucy, leaning in conspiratorially toward Kara, “does she know?” Lucy flicked a finger in the direction of Lena, for emphasis.

Kara glanced quickly at Lena, who was shooting such a death glare at Lucy that Kara wondered if she was trying to summon her own laser vision.

“Kn-kn-kn-know?” Kara gulped, “N-no. No, she doesn’t.”

“What don’t I know?” Lena’s voice was like ice.

Lucy sat back, wetting her lips, savoring the moment. “About AI,” she smiled.

“Yes!” said Kara, practically jumping to her feet. “About AI!”

The two seated women just stared. Kara sat back down with a nervous laugh. “I’m just … very passionate about it,” she said, both embarrassed and visibly relieved.

“AI typically stands for artificial intelligence, but I’m guessing that’s not what we’re talking about here,” said Lena.

“Alien Immigration,” said Lucy, bluntly.

“Alien immigration?” Lena sat back, intrigued, “What about it?”

“If you were to travel to Spain, what would happen when you arrived?” asked Lucy.

“If _I_ were to travel? Well, _I_ would probably be greeted at my _private jet_ by a _personal escort_ to take me to my vacation home along the coast,” Lena smirked.

Lucy pursed her lips again and waited.

Lena sighed, “If I were a _normal_ traveler, I’m sure I’d go through the custom and immigration checkpoints. They’d ask for my passport, scan my luggage, and whatever else one must do.”

“Was that so hard?” asked Lucy. She moved on before Lena could respond, “But yes, customs and immigration is the first stop. Same goes for aliens. At least, now that we have the registry and are openly admitting their existence, that’s the goal.”

“Lucy,” said Kara with pride, “was chosen to head the Alien Immigration Center for our region. It’s the flagship center, so basically all other centers report to her. Or, they will, once they’re operational.”

“Oh, because Supergirl had so much faith in her?” asked Lena.

“No, because of my years of military training, alien management, and legal practice,” said Lucy. “Though, it is a smaller agency than the one I was _previously_ running. At least, for now. Having to build an entire infrastructure _from the ground, up_ takes time. You can’t just take what someone else has done and _slap a new name on it_.” Lucy sat back with a smirk, propping her elbows up on the top of the couch behind her.

Kara’s hand shot out to clutch Lena’s thigh, holding her down. She thought she felt Lena’s leg muscles twitch. Would she actually have lunged at Lucy?

Lena glared at Kara’s hand. She might have felt the butterflies in her stomach if they were not all scorched by the molten rage within her.

“What does any of this have to do with me?” She finally said, through clenched teeth.

“Oh!” said Lucy, remembering why she was there, “I’m here to help with your trial.”

“You’re what?” Lena tilted her head in confusion.

“Alex – Kara’s sister –“

“I know who Alex is!”

“Just making sure,” said Lucy. “Alex asked me to help you with your case.”

“She did?” asked Kara, beaming at her sister’s thoughtfulness.

“I have my own lawyers, thank you. And they didn’t have to join the military after law school. They were offered placements with a real firm.”

“Huh,” said Lucy, unfazed, “Does their _real_ firm typically deal with the International Standards for Alien Rights and Responsibilities? Are they familiar with the Tribunal for Extraterrestrial Affairs? Have the boned up on Statute 98cf12? I’m sure they’ve all been licensed to partake in cross-planetary dispute resolution by the UN Commission on Intergalactic Law Arbitration.”

Lucy stood up, straightening her uniform, “Sounds like you don’t need me.”

Lena didn’t move a muscle as Lucy walked past her toward the door. Kara, however, now had both hands on Lena’s thighs, her expression silently pleading with Lena to say something.

“Wait,” said Lena.

Lucy took her hand off the doorknob. Kara let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

“Yes?” Lucy asked, not turning around.

“What do you want from me?” asked Lena, still rigid in her seat.

“I’m just here as a favor to a friend,” said Lucy, her tone saying otherwise.

Lena stood up and turned to face Lucy. She was used to people wanting things from her, even when they didn’t come out and say it right away. Business was all about making deals, and she suspected that the military wasn’t too different. The anger left her voice as she switched into business mode, her specialty. “And if you weren’t here as a favor to a friend? What would you want from me?”

Kara stood up too. “Lena, you heard her. She’s here because Al–“

“What if I could make this all go away for you?” asked Lucy, turning her attention back to Lena.

“All of it?” asked Lena, skeptically.

“Well, not your mother problems. I’m not a miracle worker. But what if I could get you out of this legal situation? You’d be free and clear. Maybe even a bit of a hero.”

“I’d ask your price,” said Lena.

“I need your R&D skills.”

“You want L Corp to design something for the military?” Lena shrugged, “We already do that.”

“I know you do. And I think one of your past inventions may be killing my new arrivals.”

“That’s … absurd! How dare you!” Lena’s voice betrayed both her shock and anger.

“Lucy! Lena is trying to _stop_ her family from killing aliens,” Kara was starting to see why Lena was always so fed up with people assuming the worst of her.

Lucy put up her hands to show she meant no harm. She had been in the military for most of her life; she was not fazed by people shouting at her, “Please. I didn’t mean to suggest that any of this was Lena’s doing. I was _hoping_ that you, Lena, really are different and would want to help put a stop to whoever is behind this.”

“And, in return?”

“In return, I tell the Tribunal that you were working with me this whole time, and the US military was fully aware of the plan to neutralize the virus. You are no longer a dangerous vigilante and are, instead, a citizen performing a civic duty with her nation’s full backing and gratitude.” She hesitated, then added, “It won’t keep your mother locked away; I’d need more proof for that.”

Lena weighed her options. If she could clear her own name and keep herself out of an expensive legal battle, that would at least free up her resources and time, which was already in short supply. “What if I can’t find whoever’s behind this?”

“Then maybe you can at least help me figure out how to stop them.”

The two women sized each other up for the hundredth time. Kara had never felt so useless and invisible in a conversation, and she had been Cat Grant’s assistant.

“There are a lot of people who want me dead right now,” said Lena. “You might be putting your men at risk.”

Lucy laughed, “You’re a Luthor. There are _always_ a lot of people who want you dead. My people can handle themselves, thank you. Are you in or not?”

Lena turned her gaze on Kara, “You trust her?” she asked.

“She’s saved my life countless times,” said Kara.

“And you trust her?”

“I trust her,” said Kara.

Lena nodded. She had told Alex she never wanted to put Kara in any danger, and it was true. If she went with Lucy, she would have the military protecting her, and Kara would no longer be in danger by having her around.

“I’m in,” Lena said, “but I have one condition.”

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up incredulously, “Name it.”

“I’ll help, but only as long as Kara is completely left out of this.”

“Wait! No –“ Kara tried to protest.

“Done,” said Lucy.


	5. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara confirm that we're all SuperCorp trash, but no one gets to be happy about it.

 Lena was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Kara pace, hands in pockets, brow furrowed angrily.  They were waiting for the confirmation from Lucy’s men that Lena was clear for transfer. She could hear Lucy on the phone in the other room, making arrangements. Kara hadn’t spoken to Lena since she had made her deal with Lucy, except to say “these should fit,” as she thrust a change of clothes at Lena. The outfit Lena was now wearing. The outfit that smelled like Kara. The Kara who wouldn’t look at her and wouldn’t stop pacing.

“You – urgggg,“ Kara kept saying, her words disintegrating into an angry huff each time.

“Kara, please, you have to understand –“

Kara finally stopped pacing. “I don’t _have_ to understand anything.”

Lena stood up and placed a hand on each of Kara’s arms. “I _want_ you to understand,” she tried again.

Kara rolled her eyes and shook her head, as if doing so could remove the anger that she felt. She couldn’t look at Lena. Instead she stared at her own feet, scuffing the floor. “I get it. I do. I don’t want to, but I do. You want me to be safe, and you think you’re protecting me by making sure I’m not allowed to get involved.”

Lena made gentle, soothing circles with her thumbs, “You’re a reporter, Kara.”

“You think I’m going to share secrets? Make this front page news?”

“No. You would never –“

“That’s right. I’m not _that_ _kind_ of reporter.”

“But you _are_ a reporter.” Lena stopped making circles, her hands tightening their grip as she tried to keep Kara’s focus, to make her understand. “You’re not law enforcement. You’re not military. You’re not a scientist. … You’re not Supergirl,” said Lena with a gentle laugh that made Kara blush. “What you are is absolutely selfless, and I can’t have you putting yourself in danger because of me.”

“I could hunt down leads,” mumbled Kara.

“You could. And you could put yourself in immense danger doing so. I will not have it.”

Kara lifted her gaze to meet Lena’s.

“You know what you’re being?”

Lena’s brow furrowed in confusion before a spark of recognition flashed across her eyes, “Don’t you dare say it.”

Kara grinned, “A difficult –“

Lena grabbed Kara’s shirt between her two fists and pulled Kara toward her, “Don’t you dare!” she shrieked playfully.

Their hips pressed together, Lena’s bent arms the only barrier keeping their torsos apart.

Their eyes met before Kara’s gaze shifted to Lena’s lips. Lena bit her lower lip as if on cue. Kara felt Lena’s grip tightening on Kara’s shirt. There was no more space between them, but she seemed to be trying to pull Kara closer anyway.

Kara tilted her head, her nose brushing Lena’s.

“Spoon,” she spoke the word without thought and with barely a sound, her lips grazing Lena’s as she did so.

That slight touch was too much for Lena to bear.

Lena gave a final tug on Kara’s shirt, her lips pressing against Kara’s as she did so. Lena let out a whimper of surprise and delight as Kara’s hands settled on her hips. Lena’s arms felt like they were going to break as their bodies strained to get closer. Kara must have felt Lena’s grip slacken because she gave her just enough space to pull her arms free and wrap them around Kara’s neck.

Without the pain in her arms, every neuron in Lena’s body was focused on Kara’s lips pressing against her own. Lena wasn’t even sure if her feet were still on the ground.

And then Kara pulled away, her eyes wide with … panic? Fear? Surprise? Lena couldn’t tell. She felt her own butterflies turning to wasps, filling her lungs. Had she misread the whole thing? Had she mistaken friendship for … something else? She couldn’t breathe.

“Lena, I –“ Kara didn’t know what to say. Her brain couldn’t hold a thought long enough to transfer it to her mouth.

“We’re a Go,” came a voice from the other room.

Lena didn’t give Kara a second glance. She bolted through the door, letting her inner CEO take over and push aside any thoughts of personal feelings. “I’m ready,” she said.

Lucy’s gaze flickered to Kara’s bedroom. Part of military training is learning how to perceive your surroundings. The ability to observe and detect is key to survival. But another part of military training is learning when to keep your mouth shut.

“Then let’s move out,” said Lucy.


	6. Guarded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Kara fill some time while we all collect ourselves.

Kara didn’t know how long she had been standing there, lost in her own thoughts, when she heard the knock on the door. For a split second, she thought that maybe this morning had never happened, and that she had just gotten out of bed to answer that first knock. A quick glance to her empty bed brought Kara back to reality. It seemed almost surreal that just a few hours ago, Lena had been there. Kara could still smell her perfume lingering in the air. Or was it simply in her mind, like the memory of a past meal you could still taste the next day?

The knocking continued.

Kara didn’t bother to use her x-ray vision this time.

“James? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

James Olsen stood in the hallway, holding a coffee and bag of donuts, both of which he promptly thrust into Kara’s hands.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, breezing by her into the apartment.

Kara closed the door, rubbing the bridge of her nose, trying to figure out when her life had become so complicated.

Oh right, when she decided to become Supergirl.

“Kara,” said James, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, and – are you alright?”

“I saw Lucy today,” said Kara.

“You did?” asked James, unable to hide his surprise.

“She thinks an L Corp device may be killing aliens.”

“And she wanted your help to stop it?”

“Not mine,” sighed Kara.

“Ah,” said James with a smile and a wink, “Super-“

“Not. Hers. Either.” She said curtly, plopping the bag of donuts on the counter.

James propped himself against the back of Kara’s couch. Kara never could hide her emotions well, and it was easy to tell that something was bothering her. Winn had filled him in on the basic events of the night before, but from his account, Kara should be celebrating.

“Then whose help did she want?”

Kara didn’t answer. She took a slow sip of the coffee that James had given her. Caffeine didn’t do much for her – a nice nap in the sun was far more energizing – but the warmth was always comforting.

“Sometimes, I look at the life I’ve created as Kara Danvers, and I ask myself why I let myself live like this for so long.”

“What do you mean?” James crossed his arms, as was his habit when he was settling in to listen.

Kara sighed, “Why did I always hide my power? Why didn’t I just control it? I could have done amazing things as a police officer or a doctor or … I don’t know. It didn’t have to be all or nothing. But I hid it. And now when anyone sees Kara Danvers, they see this bubbly reporter with nothing to give.”

“That’s not true, Kara.”

“No?”

“Of course not, and you know it. You’re amazing at everything you set your mind to, and you live life with such passion and optimism. You inspire people, Kara. Remember when you saved us all from Myriad? That wasn’t because of a super power. That was because you knew how to bring people hope. If Lucy didn’t want you on a project, it’s probably because you’re too good, and the rest of us can’t always compete with that. And that’s why you didn’t choose to be a police officer or a solider or whatever else you think you need to be right now.”

“It’s just hard when people look at me like I’m normal, and I want to be able to show them all of the things I can do.”

James smiled to himself, “I don’t think anyone has ever seen Kara Danvers as less than extraordinary. But, you know, that’s kind of why I’m here.”

“It is?” Kara asked, confused.

“What you said, about feeling like you have more to give … that feeling that you should be doing more? I feel that too.”

“You do?”

“Yup.”

“But you’ve always gone out of your way to help me, James. I couldn’t have done half of what I’ve done without you,” said Kara.

“And I love helping you, Kara, but, sometimes, the world needs fewer sidekicks and more heroes, you know?”

“I’m not following,” said Kara.

James sighed, “You know that new guy, the Guardian?”

“Yeah?” said Kara, cautiously, “Oh James! Don’t tell me you want to do that too!”

James frowned, “Why not? He’s helped a lot of people, including you. Supergirl can’t be everywhere at once, which means there are a lot of bad guys who go uncaught.”

“But vigilantes aren’t the answer!”

“Oh, so he’s a _vigilante_ , but because you have special powers, you’re a _hero_?”

“That’s not fair, James! I try to use my powers for situations where other people would be in too much danger or don’t have the power necessary to stop the bad guy!”

“You’re the one being unfair, Kara. You know you love the look on a bank robber’s face when he sees you waiting for him. You love beating the police to a scene and leaving them their criminals tied up in a nice steel bow. “

Kara let out a frustrated sigh. This morning had started out so well, and now she felt like everyone was turning against her. “James, if anything happened to you … I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You think I don’t have the same thought every time you’re flying around saving the day?”

“But the odds of anything happening to me are far lower –“

“Kara, how many times have you almost died? How many times have I stood beside you, waiting for some sign of life? Too many.”

“Please, James, I need you. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.  If – if you want to do more, let me talk to Alex and J’onn, see if I can find you some work with the DEO.”

James stood up. This conversation had not gone at all like he had hoped.

“I’ve got to get back to the office.”

“Wait, James, don’t _go_.”

He opened the door and paused, “You know, one of the best things about Kara Danvers is that people believe in her because she believes in them. At least, that’s what I thought.” With that, he was gone.

Kara ran out after him, but stopped. Trying to fix it now, with her current mood, would never work. She needed to clear her mind.

Kara took the rest of the morning to run some errands. Between the sunshine and the sense of accomplishment in getting things done, she returned to her apartment feeling lighter than when she had left.

Her friends weren’t turning against her. They were protecting her. They were confiding in her. She had made this morning about her, when it was really about them. They had needed her to support them, to understand them, to believe in their abilities, but she was too focused on herself. What could she do? How could she be a part of it? James was right, Kara Danvers prided herself on being a great friend, but ever since she had become Supergirl, she spent more time trying to save her friends than support them. Maybe Supergirl could learn to do better.

Kara stepped into her apartment just as the portal closed. Barry Allen smiled at her. She smiled back.

Now was the perfect chance to start.


	7. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara realizes how long she's been gone, and Maggie realizes she should have been a therapist.

The portal closed as quickly as it had opened, sending Supergirl sprawling. She looked at the device in her hand; she’d have to practice her entrance if she was going to keep using it.

Kara didn’t bother standing up. She lay on the floor, grinning. She was home. Even better, she felt like herself again. Some time with her other Super Friends had put things in perspective for her.

Something seemed different though.

She stood up suddenly, checking the device. It was nighttime outside, but when Kara had first left National City it had been in the afternoon. She thought she was going to be returned to the same time that she had left, but the calculations must have been wrong, and she had missed a few hours.

“I guess I’ll have to work on that too,” she said to herself with a shrug.

It was then that she noticed the counter. Stacks of mail were neatly arranged. Whenever Alex house-sat for anyone, she always did this. “That way, you know when the mail came. It could be important!” she would say.

But it couldn’t be. There were six stacks. She couldn’t have been gone for a whole week!

She looked at the device again, panic and recognition setting in. Time travel and inter-earth travel were two separate things.

At least she had left Alex a message, right?

Who was she kidding? Alex was going to kill her.

Kara took one more lingering look at her apartment. Sleep would be nice, but she had already missed so much. She needed to get to the DEO.

Just as she opened the window, her front door swung open.

Kara straightened.

“Supergirl!” Alex cried out.

“Alex?” Kara was about to fly over to tackle hug her sister when Maggie Sawyer stepped out from behind her.

Maggie lifted one hand in something that resembled a half-salute, half-wave, “Maggie,” she said. “Glad we’re all reacquainted.”

“When did you get back?” Alex was hovering over Kara, checking her eyes, her pulse, everything she could think of to make sure her sister was okay.

“A few minutes ago, actually,” said Kara, who wanted to be annoyed at her sister’s hovering, but secretly enjoyed it because it meant she was home.

“What happened? Were you hurt? Were your powers affected? Did – ”

“Alex!” Kara swatted away her sister’s hand as she tried to check her pupils for the third time. Kara took her sister by both wrists, looking deep into her eyes, “I’m fine, I promise.”

“Should I be jealous?” Maggie was busy putting away the groceries that Alex had brought.

Kara and Alex look at each other with a mix of horror and disgust.

“Ew, no! No no noooo,” Kara said, taking a step away from her sister.

Alex put a hand on her hip, “Ew?”

“You know what I mean,” said Kara.

Alex practically skipped over to where Maggie was standing, planting a kiss on the groove where Maggie’s jaw met her ear, “You have nothing to be jealous of, Mags.”

Maggie tried not to smile, but she couldn’t hide her half smirk. “It’s just that, we’ve been here for a full ten minutes, and you haven’t even asked about your sister yet.”

Kara looked down in terror, remembering she was still in her Supergirl outfit. She had no idea what Alex had told Maggie. How had she explained that both Kara and Supergirl had disappeared?

Alex locked eyes with her sister, Kara’s panic suppressed under Alex’s hard stare that seemed to say ‘play along.’

“Where is my sister, Supergirl? You kept her safe in the alternate universe, right?”

“Uhh, yes. Yes, I did. She’s … in her room. Resting. Long trip. Universe traveling can be exhausting, especially for those without super powers.”

“Maybe you should go check on her,” Maggie said gently, giving Alex’s arm an encouraging rub.

Alex cleared her throat, “I will do that. I will go in there and check on her.” She shot her sister a warning glance as she walked by and slipped into the bedroom.

With her super hearing, Kara could hear Alex pulling out her phone. She was probably calling J’onn to give him a status update on Supergirl’s return.

“So,” said Kara, “You and Alex are … dating?”

Maggie snorted then rolled her eyes when she saw Supergirl’s displeasure. “It’s been a week since we, uh, shared our feelings for one another. And for most of that time, I’ve been in the hospital or Alex has been working. I wouldn’t say we’re _dating_. We’re _getting to know_ each other and going on a few dates.” She paused, and said more softly, “but I hope we get there.”

Kara smiled, “And I hope we get a chance to work together more Detective Sawyer, I would like to get to know you better. Alex is a close friend.”

“Call me Maggie, please,” said Maggie. “That’d be nice.”

“How are you feeling … Maggie?”

Maggie shrugged, then winced, “I’ll heal. I always do.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you when –“ Kara’s mind flashed back to that night. Could she have done more for Maggie?

Maggie waved a hand, brushing her off, “You did what you could. Just because you’re a superhero doesn’t mean you can save everyone.”

“I can try.”

“At the Academy, they always told us that kind of mindset was the fastest way to burnout.”

“Good thing I’m not a police officer then.”

They smiled at each other. Then the silence hit. Kara could still hear Alex on the phone in the other room. Her tone sounded anxious.

“How was Alex? I mean, how was she this week with us gone?”

“Not gonna lie, she was an absolute mess when she first got Kara’s message. Well, as much of a mess as Alex ever gets. Part of that was because of my situation though, but she is very protective of Kara. Of both of you, actually.” Maggie cocked her head slightly, “Why did you bring Kara with you?”

“She’s a friend, and I thought she could be useful, documenting differences between the worlds, doing research, hunting down leads. It’s always good to have at least one person you trust with you when you go somewhere new.”

“I’m sure Alex would have gone if you’d asked. And she’s trained.”

“She needed to be here with you. Besides, I didn’t bring Kara as backup. I brought Kara for her other skills and because she can befriend anyone.  And … she needed to get away.”

Maggie lifted an eyebrow, “She okay?”

“I think she will be.”

Maggie smiled and nodded, but didn’t say anything.

Kara couldn’t stand the silence, “Before she left, she was having some issues with her friends. She realized that she wasn’t being very supportive and was focusing too much on herself. Seeing me with the Flash and Green Arrow and – uh, a lot of other names that mean nothing to you – helped her realize that.”

“Kara? Being unsupportive? Huh.”

“Why is that a ‘huh’?”

“It’s just that --  not that I know Kara very well or at all really – Alex makes it sound like _all_ Kara does is help her friends. Again, I don’t really know her, but it sounds like she doesn’t need to support her friends more; she just needs to give them space to do their thing so she can go do her own thing too.”

“You’re right, you don’t know her,” Kara said defensively. “She lives for her friends.”

“It’s nice that friends mean that much to her. I wish I had a few more who did to me. But you can’t live for someone else. You have to live for you, otherwise, you just get stuck as this supporting character in their lives and end up without a life of your own.” Maggie shrugged, “But what do I know?”

“Kara was kissed by a girl,” Kara blurted out.

“What?” Maggie didn’t sound shocked, just confused as to this sudden conversation twist.

Before … in the … alternate world … she was kissed by a girl. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

“Why are you telling me this? That’s kind of something only she should share and probably with someone she trusts, like her sister.”

“She can’t tell Alex.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Kara sighed, “This is _Alex’s_ thing.”

“What’s Alex’s thing? Kissing girls? It’s not exclusive to her. There are many members in that club.”

Kara shook her head, irritated. “Listen, Kara is Alex’s little sister. She has always wanted to be just like Alex. When they were kids, anything Alex did, Kara wanted to do too. Alex is just figuring out this part of her, and it’s special to her and new and different and it’s …”

“Her thing.” Maggie sighed, “I got it. Kara doesn’t want Alex to think she’s trying to imitate her. Not again. Not with … this.”

“Exactly! Please don’t tell her.”

“It’s not mine to tell. Not really yours though either. Why _did_ you tell me this?”

“Because, I’m not sure what to tell Kara. Between James and Mike and L- ladies in the alternate universe … she’s confused. I want to help her, but I don’t know how. You seem to have more relationship experience than I do, and you’ve helped Alex so much ... ”

“Alex had to figure her own self out,” Maggie shrugged, “Honestly? Kara does too. I stick by what I said before.”

“That she needs to be less of a friend? How is that going to help her with dating?”

“Not _less_ of a friend. _More_ of an individual. It sounds like all of these people want _her_ in _their_ life, but she’s been too busy trying to please them to determine who she wants in hers. I’ve dated girls like Kara before. We never worked out. They made me their purpose, and then when they had me, they left when I no longer needed help or they found someone new to fix.  I don’t know if Kara’s like that, I just hear a lot about her from Alex. A lot.” Maggie repeated for emphasis.

Kara frowned, thinking over what Maggie had said.

“Sorry, I hope that didn’t sound mean. I tend not to sugarcoat things,” said Maggie.

“No, that’s … helpful. Any advice about the girl issue?”

“At least she doesn’t have to worry about the girl tracking her down?” Maggie joked, “Though I’ve had a few exes who would probably cross an interdimensional portal to find me.”

“I’m being serious,” said Kara.

Maggie sighed, “I’m not sure what you want me to say, Supergirl? If she decides she likes girls, then she likes girls. Maybe she’s bisexual. Maybe she’s pansexual. Maybe she’s asexual. I don’t know if there’s a term for people who like aliens of various alien genders too, but throw that in there. People experiment. People _should_ experiment if that’s what they want to do. Just set those expectations, and don’t be a dick to the people you meet along the way. It’s not a bad thing to discover who you are and who you aren’t. She doesn’t have to choose a label. There’s no application deadline, no forms to complete, no official announcement process or selection committee or membership card. If she decides it was a onetime thing, and she just liked it for its novelty, then it was a onetime thing. If she wants to start dating girls, then she dates some girls. She doesn’t have to tell Alex if she doesn’t want to. Not now, at least.”

“You know, Maggie, you’re pretty good at this advice thing.”

“I’m just a lesbian with a badge.”

Kara laughed.

 “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” said Kara.

“What’s the deal with you and Lena Luthor?”

 “Me and _Lena_? Why do you ask?”

“You two seemed … close.”

“We’re friends. _Just_ friends. _Good_ friends. Not even that good of friends. _Growing_ friends. Do friends grow? Our friendship is what is growing. We’re the same height. I mean, she’s actually shorter but in her heels, we’re about the same. That is to say, our friendship is growing, but we’re not. We stopped growing. As people. Not in the personal development sense, but physically …” Kara cleared her throat awkwardly in response to the look Maggie was giving her, “We admire each other. Respect each other. It’s not every day a Luthor and a Super can get along. As Lena once said. Not that I remember everything she’s ever said to me or anything. But yep, that’s all. It’s a special friendship. But, not … _special_ special.”

Maggie shrugged, the expression on her face unreadable “I guess that’s a relief.”

Kara crossed her arms, “Why is that a relief?”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d take it when we told you she’d been kidnapped.”


	8. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara seeks answers in a familiar place.

Kara didn’t remember the flight to the AIC. The last thing she remembered was Maggie telling her that Lena had been kidnapped.

But somehow her body had known where to go.

The old DEO base was barely recognizable with all of its new landing beacons, processing buildings, and other necessary upgrades. Kara blew right past the defense systems. If she had been thinking more clearly, she would have made a mental note to tell Lucy to upgrade those too.

“Lucy!” Kara’s voice bellowed through the building as she barreled her way into the old headquarters control room.

A group of startled aliens looked up at her from the long queues they were standing in. At the front of the room, the rows of processing agents seemed unperturbed, continuing to riffle through stacks of completed forms.

“Supergirl?”

Kara turned. “Agent Vasquez?”

Vasquez smiled, but her eyes showed her concern.

“I need to find Lucy,” Kara said, desperately.

“You’re here about Miss Luthor?” She had an air of authority about her, and Kara could tell that her decision to remain with Lucy at the AIC had been a good one.

Kara nodded, her face betraying the confusing mix of emotions she was feeling. She was angry at Lucy for letting this happen. She was angry at Lena for always trying to handle situations on her own. She was angry at herself for not being here. She was worried. She was scared. She was hopeful. She was … excited? Why was she _excited_? Her stomach dropped: she wanted to save the day. She wanted to be the one to bring Lena back.

“Headquarters is now over where the old housing bunker used to be,” said Vasquez.

Kara turned to fly off, but Vasquez stopped her with a firm grip around Kara’s bicep.

“Wait,” said Vasquez.

The agent let go of Kara and watched her for a second, as if trying to make sure Kara wouldn’t bolt the second she was free. Satisfied, Vasquez walked over to a high platform, stationed above the agent processing tables and whispered into the ear of the other agent manning it. The second agent nodded, reached into a drawer and pulled out a clip-on badge, which Vasquez promptly took.

“Here,” said Vasquez, returning to Kara. She clipped the badge on the neck of Kara’s Supergirl suit.

Kara looked down. “VISITOR. ACCESS 3” was printed on it in bold letters.

“Thanks,” she said.

Vasquez shrugged, “If it’s between this and having you break your way in, I’d rather keep my new facility intact.” She picked a piece of glass off of Kara’s elbow, as if to emphasize her point.

Kara stared blankly. She had no idea how that had gotten there.

“Can I … go now?”

“Yes, Supergirl. Free to go. It’s good to see you.”

“Under better circumstances, I’d say the same,” said Kara over her shoulder as she raced out of the building.

The new headquarters was easy to find. The old housing bunker had been torn down and a large cube-like building had been erected in its place. The lower levels were windowless, but the top of the cube had glass patterns that merged with the concrete in intricate designs. There was only one visible entrance.

If Kara had known this was the headquarters ten minutes ago, she probably would have flown straight through one of those windows. She now understood why Vasquez was so adamant about the badge.

As Kara approached the entrance, one of the two armed guards manning the post stepped forward.

“Supergirl, ma’am, we’ve been expecting you. This way please.”

He escorted her through a hidden side door set within the cement wall and down a long corridor to an elevator.  Every few yards, they stopped to scan their badges. The entire building was steel and polished stone, giving it a futuristic yet entirely earth-like feel. Even the elevator was unlike any Kara had seen before. The walls were a fogged glass, even though there was no outside view.

The guard pressed a button on the elevator panel, which Kara suddenly realized wasn’t numbered to show normal floors.

“Director Lane will meet you at your destination,” he said, stepping back to allow the doors to close.

The elevator went dark. Suddenly, images began to play across the fogged glass.

“Welcome to the National Alien Immigration Center,” a pre-recorded female voice began to speak in an overly friendly tone.

Kara was too busy thinking about Lena and what she was going to say to Lucy to pay attention to the video flashing around her. She barely even noticed when it suddenly cut off as the doors opened.

Lucy stood before her in a pair of black and white camouflage fatigues and a long-sleeved black shirt that shimmered in the light. She wore a black beret which seemed to be made of the same shimmering material.

“Kara,” said Lucy.

“Lucy,” said Kara.

Kara wasn’t sure what she thought was going to happen. In her head, Kara had imagined barging into the AIC and pinning Lucy to a wall until she gave Kara an explanation. Then they’d rush off to save Lena from Cadmus or whoever else had dared to kidnap her. A year ago, that might have been exactly what Kara did. Instead, one look at Lucy’s grim expression, and Kara knew that she wasn’t alone in wanting to get Lena back.

“This way,” said Lucy. She turned and guided Kara through an empty reception area that looked like it had been carved out of the cave of a mountain. At the other end was a set of glass doors. The doors were unmarked, but as they stepped inside, Kara could tell immediately that this was the Director’s office.  Lucy closed the doors behind them, sealing out any outside sound. Kara noticed there was also a set of metal doors Lucy could close, if necessary.

Lucy pressed a button and the glass doors fogged over, hiding the activity within.

The office was composed of two rooms. They had entered Lucy’s main working space with her desk and meeting area, but Lucy breezed through this space and into the second room.

Kara followed.

The second room was smaller. It had steel walls and black tile floors. Blue light pooled along the walls from light strips that ran the borders of the ceiling and the floor. Softer light filtered out from tiny divots in the steel, like thousands of stars in the night sky. The back wall was made entirely of monitors, though they were all currently blank. In the center of the room was a tall oval console that doubled as a meeting table. The base narrowed and widened like a metal tree trunk, and Kara’s super hearing could make out the mechanical pieces whirring inside. The top of the table was made of a similar glass polymer to that in the elevator.

“Kara.”

Though her stomach was in knots and her heart hadn’t stopped racing since she heard the news, the sight of J’onn J’onzz standing across from her at the strange console made her panic and rage feel manageable for the first time all night.

“I’m glad you’re back safely. We missed you,” he said.

“J’onn,” she sighed, fatigue setting in as her adrenaline rush began to fade.

Lucy came in behind Kara and shut the door to the room, sealing them in.

“Alex and Maggie are on their way,” Lucy said.

J’onn grunted. “Why don’t we get Kara up to speed while we wait?”


	9. Merciless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara learns that Cadmus isn't the only threat.

The questions had rushed out of Kara like a tidal wave. _What happened? Who did this? When? Where? How? Do we know she’s alive? Do we know she’s safe? What do they want from her? What do they want from us? Do we know where she is? Is there a plan? When are we leaving to save her? How could you let this happen?_

J’onn and Lucy weathered her onslaught as only Kara’s closest companions could.

Finally, J’onn put up a hand to silence Kara. “Why don’t you let us _answer_ your questions, Kara? I think you will find them more effective that way.”

Kara’s shoulders slumped, and she nodded meekly. She wanted to _do_ something, but until she had answers, she felt helpless.  

Lucy pressed a button and the monitors on the back wall lit up. Each screen showed a different alien. They looked _almost_ human, but Kara could see something ‘off’ about each one:  A neck too long, a third eye, ear holes instead of lobes. They were all dead.

“We found the first body about a month ago,” said Lucy. “No signs of external trauma; however, during the autopsy, we noticed severe trauma to the brain and heart. We also found remnants of fluid in the lungs and other respiratory cavities.”

“They drowned?” asked Kara, skirting the central console to view the images of the aliens more closely.

“That was one initial theory,” said Lucy, “but the fluid we recovered wasn’t a known substance. Then the other bodies started showing up. They all had the same types of heart and brain trauma, though some had additional muscle damage to other areas of the body.”

Kara turned away from the monitors to face Lucy, “You said that you thought one of Lena’s inventions did this.”

Lucy nodded, “That’s right. We began circulating the autopsy reports, hoping someone could help us find a cause of death that made any sense.”

“And someone did?”

“Yes,” Lucy sighed, “My father.”

“Your father?!” Kara knew that if Lucy’s father was involved, this invention would have been military-grade and highly classified.

“It was Codenamed, Project Beyond.”

“That sounds … ominous,” said Kara.

“Do you remember the Black Mercy?” J’onn cut in.

 “You mean the plant parasite that made me think I was back on Krypton so it could suck the life out of me? Not very easy to forget,” Kara shuddered. She paused, “Are you telling me Project Beyond was trying to militarize the Black Mercy?”

“Not quite,” said J’onn, “Project Beyond was designed to be a simulator for soldiers – A submersion tank that allowed the military to put the soldiers through training exercises and drills without any of the physical risks. Soldiers wore special headsets that fed into a central hub, through which the simulations were projected and managed by the control operator. They would have been fully immersed with no idea that they were in a simulator.”

“… like the Black Mercy,” said Kara.

“The fluid in the tank was designed to be an air replacement while the soldiers were inside,” Lucy picked up where J’onn left off. “In initial tests, soldiers wore air masks, but these masks often came loose if a soldier began moving, and post-training feedback suggested that they distracted from the soldier’s ability to feel fully immersed in the simulation. So L Corp, or whatever it was called at the time, developed this fluid compound we found in the aliens’ lungs. It contains oxygen, nutrients, electrolytes … think of it like amniotic fluid with everything the soldier needs to sustain prolonged tank use. It also has a drug compound that puts the brain into the hypnotic state needed for the simulations to work.”

Kara made a disgusted face. “So these soldiers would go in these tanks and purposefully breathe in this fluid to … what? Unconsciously enter these simulations?”

“Basically. It took some adjusting, but tests showed there didn’t seem to be any major side effects of switching between fluid and air breathing, if the lungs were properly vented afterward. With the fluid, their body had everything it needed, so the military could keep the soldiers in training for days without worrying about dehydration, starvation, oxygen depletion … any of it. If it would have worked, they could have put whole units into training in situations that would have taken billions of dollars and a lot of risk to replicate otherwise.”

“But can a simulation really … train you?” asked Kara.

“Studies showed an 85% effectiveness rate for muscle memory through the simulation.” Lucy thought for a minute, “I sometimes forget that you don’t know much about the military, Kara. This machine wasn’t meant to replace training. It was designed to augment training. Before taking new recruits on their first flight jump, instructors could put them in a simulation to help them get comfortable with the experience. A platoon could practice clearing a rebel-held city with ‘real’ simulated enemies. Naval cadets could learn to tie knots while on a simulated vessel. Combat medics could see simulated combat trauma first-hand and learn to triage without their instructors fearing that their first case of combat shock would happen in the field and get them blown to bits. It’s hard to train an army without an enemy to attack, Kara. It’s hard to prepare a person for something like war until they’ve actually experienced it first-hand. It’s hard to simulate a burning city or jungle rescue in a thirty acre training facility. More soldiers in this country die in training today, than in combat. This would have changed all of that. And if it had worked, L Corp would have been able to wipe out any competition in the civilian virtual reality market too.”

“I’m guessing something went wrong,” said Kara.

Lucy placed a hand on top of the central console, the instrument humming to life at her touch. She ran her fingers across the tabletop as if trying to pull something out from the fogged glass. The lighting changed, and an image that was displayed across the glass suddenly hovered above the console as a floating hologram.

Kara inhaled sharply: It was Lena.

She was sitting on a stool, wearing a lab coat. A pair of safety goggles clipped onto her coat breast pocket. She looked different, maybe a little younger. Her normal, defiant confidence wasn’t visible. She appeared tired, defeated.

“What is this?” asked Kara.                  

“Just watch,” said Lucy. She could see Kara fidgeting uncomfortably at the sight of Lena. For Kara, it was another reminder that they were standing around while Lena was out there somewhere.

Lucy tapped the table and the hologram began to move. Lena’s voice filled the room.

“Subjects continue to show signs of trauma and post-traumatic stress similar or greater to those experienced during live exercise. Paranoid delusions have affected at least fifty percent of subjects in some capacity. Subject 36AR, simulation JT10, suffered muscle separation along the lateral trapezius after experiencing a simulated cliff hang. Subject 92MPFC, simulation WZ3, suffered acute system failure due to simulated death. Attempts to revive proved unsuccessful. Subject NS08 is showing improved memory function after - ”

Lucy paused the video. “It goes on like that for a while.”

“Their simulated injuries were … actually injuring them?” Kara asked.

“Exactly. It was too real. And even if a soldier went through the sim perfectly or managed to survive a simulated casualty, it created a lot of mental health issues too.  Lena …” Lucy hesitated, not wanting to bring up her name in front of Kara any more than necessary, “told us about one subject who almost tore off his scalp because he was convinced he was in a sim and wanted to remove his headset. Another soldier jumped off a roof because he wanted to relive the adrenaline rush he felt when he had died in a simulated flight jump. Some soldiers lost interest in all life outside of the sim. They became restless and depressed, even showing signs of withdrawal similar to those of drug addicts.”

“Oh Rhao,” Kara was speechless.

“Despite this, the military wanted to move forward with the project.” said J’onn.

“Move forward?! Their people were _dying_.” Kara stammered.

“It would have been a small price to pay if they could get the machines operational,” said Lucy, clearly echoing her father’s sentiment.

“They finally agreed to shelve the project when an entire company was almost lost in a simulation malfunction,” added Lucy. “Apparently, if you try to wake an individual from simulation without the proper steps, it can cause stroke, seizures, and even death.  Lena wouldn’t tell us what she did with the original blueprints, but the prototypes were shipped to a secure L Corp facility. Most were destroyed or repurposed, but a few were still locked away. At least, until Lena found three prototypes and a portable control console missing from L Corp’s secured facility earlier this week. We have no doubt now that this is what has been killing the aliens in National City.”

“Who would do such a thing? And why?” Kara was horrified.

Lucy swiped at the hologram and Lena was replaced by an image of a man in full army dress uniform. He looked every part the soldier from his thousand yard stare to his square jaw and rigid stance.

“This is First Lieutenant, Gunner Hale. His platoon was selected for Project Beyond testing.  … Of his twenty men, only five survived,” said J’onn.

“And you think he’s behind this?” Kara’s eyes narrowed as she studied the face of the man who had just become the focus of all of her anger.

“Hale and his remaining men disappeared before the project was officially shut down. They took with them all of their prototype user manuals, training guides, and whatever information Hale would have had access to as the platoon Lieutenant. It wouldn’t have been enough to build a prototype of their own, but Hale’s platoon was highly trained in special missions, including espionage, reconnaissance, surveillance, extraction ...  they could have been watching Project Beyond’s progress from the day they left to the day the project shut down.  If anyone could track the prototypes and break into a facility to steal them without L Corp knowing, it would have been Hale,” explained Lucy.

“The day before he left, Hale had also threatened Lena.  He told her that, one day, he’d make her suffer just like his men had,” added J’onn, grimly.

“But why kill aliens? And why use the prototype to do it?” asked Kara.

Lucy and J’onn exchanged glances.

“What? What aren’t you telling me?” Kara put her hands on her hips.

Lucy sighed, “According to my father, most of the troops selected for Project Beyond were being trained in counter-alien operations.”

Kara frowned, the true purpose of the simulator dawning on her. “Of course. Because you can’t train for an alien invasion in the real world or send soldiers into space, but … in a simulator…” Her voice shook with anger, “In a simulator, you can practice taking down Supergirl without her ever knowing.”

“Kara –“ J’onn started.

“Did Lena know?” She growled.

“Lena worked on the design, but –“

“Did she know?!” Kara shouted, slamming her fist down on the console. The machine whined and struggled to keep the hologram floating.

“This was one of Lex’s projects, Kara.” Said Lucy. “Lena was working as an engineer on the project, but she didn’t have all of the details. It wasn’t until she took over that she realized the full scope of what was happening. That’s when she shut it down.”

Kara’s anger twisted inside her. She felt sick. Once again, she had wanted to blame Lena for something her family had started.  Once again, Lena had only tried to do the right thing.

“But that still doesn’t explain why he’d need the prototype to kill them,” said Kara.

“Because Hale knows that he can’t trust a bullet to stop an alien,” said Lucy.

Kara looked down at the House of El coat of arms emblazoned on her chest. “But he can have them face a thousand deaths in the simulator until he finds the one that works.”

“And from there he can build a database of what each type of alien fears. The simulator responds to your choices. With it, Hale can measure strengths and weaknesses. He can catalogue how someone fights and hides.” J’onn said, his tone betraying just how serious this situation had become.  

Hale wasn’t just some mentally-ill former test subject with a vendetta; he was a calculating soldier, building an inventory on his enemies, an inventory that put all of Earth’s aliens at risk.

“So Hale has it out for aliens and Lena? Great. Sounds like his last name should be ‘Luthor!’” Kara threw up her hands, exasperated. “Do we know how to find him?”

Lucy smacked the table a few times, reorienting the lights that Kara had misaligned with her earlier outburst. She then flipped the image again. A hologram of a flyer replaced Hale’s image.

“We found this in the apartment of one of Hale’s victims,” said J’onn.

Kara stepped closer to read the crumpled writing. The flyer was an advertisement for aliens, claiming that one treatment in a “transformation tank” could correct their cosmetic imperfections. It showed an alleged “before” and “after” image of an alien looking remarkably more human in the “after” picture. There was a number to call to schedule an appointment.

“Hale’s luring the aliens in with these fake advertisements, and then once he gets them in the simulator …” Lucy waved a hand at the monitors behind her, letting the images of the many dead aliens speak for themselves.

“And now he has Lena?” Kara’s voice cracked as she fought back her emotions. “Did you try calling the number? Maybe we can track it? Maybe we can setup a fake meeting and then –“

“Kara,” said J’onn, “We did that.”

“You … did?” Kara paused.

“We sent in an agent posing as a potential client. Our tactical teams were on scene, ready to engage once contact was made. Lena was with them since she is the only one who knows how to work the prototype.”

“Well, what happened?” Kara’s voice strained as she struggled to control her growing impatience.

“We had hoped they would lead us to their base of operation, but Hale’s too smart to set an initial meeting point there. When his men realized our agent wasn’t alien, tactical teams rushed in. … And that’s when Hale’s men grabbed Lena instead.”

“When was this?”

“Yesterday,” said Lucy.

“If I had been back _one day sooner_ ...”

“This still probably would have happened, Kara,” said J’onn.

“You don’t know that! I could have stopped them! I could have saved her!”

“She wouldn’t have wanted you to,” said Lucy.

“How do you know?” Kara practically shouted, her patience gone.

“Because,” said J’onn, softly, “It’s all part of her plan.”

Kara took a step back, her attention swinging between Lucy and J’onn. Both stared back at her with hardened eyes.

“She _planned_ this?” Kara’s shock turned to cold realization, “Of course she did. She’s Lena.”

“A normal simulation during military testing only ended if you completed your objective, reached an exit gate, or were externally extracted by the simulation controller,” said Lucy, “But, apparently, there’s a failsafe built _within_ the simulation. When the programmers were designing the sims, this was what the first test subjects could use to pull themselves out of the simulation if something went wrong.”

“Lena thinks that she can use the failsafe not only to pull herself out of the simulation, but to destroy the programming code from within. It would render all of the tanks useless, even if Hale were able to manufacture more,” said J’onn.

“And she’s sure she can do it?” asked Kara.

J’onn hesitated, “When the simulations were initially designed, users participated as themselves. Once the programmers realized this was causing problems when users returned to reality, they changed the simulation so that you entered under a separate identity. You look the same and maintain your unique personality and abilities, but you don’t know that you’re _you_. “

“The programmers had hoped that this degree of separation between subject and simulator would help subjects readjust when they re-entered the real world,” said Lucy.

“Before Lena can reach the failsafe, she’ll need to ‘wake up’ in the simulation and remember who she is and why she’s really there,” said J’onn.

“And she knows how to do that?” Asked Kara.

 “The entire plan relies on her ability to do so,” said J’onn.  “She’s never done it without a second user to help her regain self-awareness, but she’s been practicing,”

“Practicing? How?”

A red light blinked on the console. Lucy tapped it twice.

“They’re here,” she said to J’onn before turning to Kara, “Follow me. We’ll show you.”


	10. Roles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara learns more about what everyone's been up to while she's been away.

They met Alex and Maggie in one of the AIC’s research laboratories, hidden within the bowels of the headquarters.

As they approached, Kara could see Alex standing impatiently, hands on her hips, foot tapping rhythmically away on the stone floor, and a worried expression etched across her face. Maggie said something and pointed in their direction. Alex turned suddenly, her face lighting up at the sight of her sister.

“I was going to tell you everything,” Alex said, apologetically. “If you had given me a chance–”

“J’onn and Lucy filled me in.” said Kara. “How could you let her do this?”

“I don’t know Lena Luthor very well,” Maggie chimed in. She was leaning against one of the walls, casually observing everything happening around them, “But I’m pretty sure a more accurate question would be: how could we have stopped her?”

J’onn gave Maggie a long look. Kara recognized it as the kind of look he used to give her when he wasn’t sure if she was worthy of his trust. Maggie gave him a wink. He looked away, disgusted.

“Lena’s lab is this way,” said Lucy. “We didn’t have much time, but she had L Corp send over one of the original prototypes. The model they used before the tank. It’s not as advanced, but she updated what she could ... .it was the best Lena could do, given that we don’t know if Hale has control over all of the other prototype tanks still at L Corp.”

“How could he control them too?” asked Kara.

“Remember, Kara, they’re designed for team use. Many of the tanks are capable of being linked to one control console. We don’t know if Hale has access to the remaining tanks through the console he stole,” said J’onn.

“Wouldn’t the central console override it?” asked Kara. “Couldn’t Lena have shut them all down with that, instead?”

“She could have,” said Alex, “If L Corp hadn’t destroyed it.”

“Lena thought it was too dangerous to have both the tanks and the console still operational, so she destroyed the main console. Without it, she guaranteed that no one could replicate the programming needed to make their own.  She kept some of the portable field testing control units though, which allow for basic simulation operation, but not complex functions,” said Lucy. 

Kara fell into line next to her sister as they followed Lucy down a long corridor. “And you’re okay with this?” Kara hissed.

“Who knows how many more of these tanks Hale has been able to make by replicating the prototype he stole? All we do know is that he has one source code, one controller, for all of the tanks. Lena can shut it down, even if she’s not in the same room as the controller, and Hale can’t restart it or fix it without a central hub.” Said Alex.

“Which no longer exists,” said Kara.

“Now you’re getting it,” said Maggie, strolling behind them.

 “I would have volunteered to go, but … I couldn’t wake myself up from Lena’s practice simulation. And this one is supposed to be easy,” said Alex.

“Is it still here? I want to try it,” said Kara.

“We figured,” said Lucy, “That’s why we’re here.”

She opened a door to a small lab space. The floors were all white linoleum which reflected the LED lights in the ceiling, making the room blindingly bright.

Kara froze. The space still smelled of Lena. Part of her wanted to make everyone leave so that she could preserve the scent. Instead, she forced herself to focus on the medical chair stationed in the corner. A headset was charging on a stand next to it.

“Alex, will you get Supergirl setup? Maggie, you can monitor vitals.  I should go check in with Vasquez, and I need J’onn to get a status report from the DEO,” said Lucy. “We may have found a way to track Lena. Supergirl, we should be able to update you by the time you’re done here.”

Kara nodded. She sat down in the chair, watching J’onn and Lucy leave.

She turned to Alex suddenly, “The DEO! I just realized, I’ve been gone a whole week! Has everything been okay? Does National City think I abandoned them?”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” said Maggie, smirking.

“They don’t know,” said Alex.

“What do you mean ‘they don’t know’? I’ve been gone an entire week.”

“You had a stand-in,” said Maggie.

Kara looked from Maggie to Alex. Maggie was trying not to laugh. Alex rolled her eyes.

“… J’onn?” asked Kara.

Alex nodded.

“He still won’t look at me,” laughed Maggie.

“What happened?”

“Maggie may have said some things while under the influence of her pain medication,” said Alex, her attention focused on setting up a laptop that was connected to the medical chair. She opened a bottle and handed Kara a small tab, “Let this dissolve in your mouth. It should prep your mind for the simulator.”

“… If it works on Kryptonians,” said Maggie.

Kara did as she was told, waiting expectantly for Alex to pick back up with her story, but she realized Alex wasn’t going to say anything more. She turned to Maggie instead. “What did you say?”

“In my defense –“

“He’s my boss, Maggie!”

“You’re the one who thought it was a good idea to bring me to the DEO while I was drugged out of my mind!”

“You can’t _kinkshame_ my boss!”

“I wasn’t _trying_ to.”

“What happened?” Kara shouted over the two of them. She could already feel her mind growing fuzzy.

Maggie rolled her eyes, trying to downplay the situation, “I may have asked your boss if Martians were into roleplaying during sex since, you know, they can change into anyone … “

“I believe your _exact words_ were –“

“Noooope!” Kara put her hands to her ears, “I don’t need to hear anymore. I got it. J’onn must be horrified.”

“We’re all horrified,” said Alex.

“Oh don’t pretend you wouldn’t be into it if you had the opportunity,” said Maggie, giving Alex a poke with her foot.

 “I absolutely would not!” Alex said, indignantly, swatting Maggie away, “Why would I want to be someone else? Would _you_ want me to be someone else?” She gave Maggie a challenging look.

Maggie shook her head, “Of course not, babe.” She pulled the headset off the charger and teasingly held it over Alex’s head, “But a simulator could be fun. Then you can still be you … but in whatever situation you want.”

Alex blushed.

Kara squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the conversation.

“Can we not talk about this now?” said Alex; it was more of a statement than a question.

Maggie passed Kara the headset to hold while Maggie plugged it in to the laptop, “Of course,” she leaned in, whispering in Alex’s ear “Madame President.”

Alex choked on air, stammering something about checking the wires.

Maggie laughed, turning to Kara. She reached out and pulled a piece of glass out of Kara’s hair.

“I have no idea how that got there,” said Kara.

“Probably from when you jumped through the wrong window on your way here,” said Maggie.  “I hope you plan to pay Kara back for that.”

“I thought I had opened the window,” Kara said, trying to remember the moments before Alex and Maggie had arrived at her apartment earlier that night. It felt like days ago.

“You had,” said Maggie. “But that’s not the one you jumped through when I told you about Lena.”

“Heheh. Whoops.” Said Kara.

“We’re ready,” said Alex, bringing them back to the task at hand.

Maggie took the headset back from Kara and put it on for her. “Okay Supergirl, maybe you’ll have better luck than the rest of us. So far, I’m not sure I actually believe Lena that there’s a way to wake up in the simulation.”

Alex took her sister’s hand and gave it a squeeze, “We’ll be monitoring your vitals from here. And remember, it’s not like the tank simulator; we can pull you out at any time, if anything seems off.”

Kara took a deep breath, “How bad can it be?”


	11. Wanting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara sees just how hard Lena's been practicing.

“She can see you now, Miss Danvers.”

Kara stood up and pushed through the heavy doors into Lena’s office.

“You’re here!” She beamed as she strode into the room. For some reason, she felt almost shocked to see Lena sitting before her.

Lena was hunched over her desk, reading a file. Both of her elbows were propped on the desk, one hand twirling a pen while her chin rested delicately on two fingers of her other hand. She looked up, arching an eyebrow and spreading her fingers wide, “Where else would I be?”

“It’s just … I don’t know … I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“And yet you came anyway,” said Lena, sitting back in her chair. “What can I do for you, Kara?”

“I – “ Kara paused, “I don’t … I don’t know …” She looked around, trying to remember what had brought her to Lena’s office in the first place. There had to be a reason. Most likely a story she was writing.

Lena sighed, “It is always lovely to see you, Kara, but I am quite busy.”

“Of course. I’m … I’m sorry. I …”

Lena stood up and walked around her desk to perch on the edge closest to Kara. She was wearing a silk blouse tucked into a high-waisted pencil skirt. The silk draped like liquid, accentuating all of Lena’s curves, the green coloring bringing out Lena’s eyes.

“Are you all right, Kara?”

Kara could feel herself blushing. She flipped open her notepad, desperate to remember why she had come here. On the first page, there was a scribbled heart. It hit her suddenly: The Valentine’s Day article! That’s why she was there. It was a puff piece, certainly, but Cat had always said Valentine’s Day was about selling the idea of love more than love itself.

“Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, Lena?” Kara stuttered.

“I’m sorry?” Lena’s teeth seemed exceptionally white against her dark red lips.

“I’m writing an article about how National City celebrates Valentine’s Day. I was hoping you could tell me what Valentine’s Day means for you.”

Lena rolled her eyes, “I rescheduled the Prime Minister of Tonga so that you could ask me my Valentine’s Day plans?” She let out a cynical laugh, “I’ll tell you what I do, Kara, I pick out the most expensive box of chocolates sent to me by one of the world’s most eligible bachelors, and I eat it while drinking a very expensive bottle of wine … at my desk. As I work. Like any other holiday.”

Kara’s smile faltered, “You don’t really want me to write that, do you?”

“Whatever you write always sounds fine, Kara. That’s why I still let you in here. I’m sure you can spin it into something positive”

“I just thought you would— I mean, you’re … you’re _you_. You’re gorgeous and brilliant, and I just thought you would have your pick of guys begging to take you out on Valentine’s Day.”

Lena pushed herself up off the desk, her momentum pulling her toward Kara. “I am, and I do.” There was something mischievous in her smile.

It made Kara nervous.

Lena continued to walk toward her. “But I don’t want them,” she said.

Kara thought Lena was going to collide with her, but at the last second, she brushed past Kara, heading for the door.

“What _do_ you want?” Kara asked, brow furrowed, pencil poised to take notes.

Lena opened her door and popped her head out, “Jess, hold my calls. And no interruptions, please.” She closed the door again, turning her attention back to Kara.

“What do you do for Valentine’s Day, Kara?”

“Me?!” Kara snorted.

“Yes, you.”

Kara felt the full weight of Lena’s gaze.

“Well, I –“

“Please, sit down,” Lena motioned toward the couch, draping herself across one end. Kara sat down awkwardly on the other end. “You were saying?” Lena motioned for her to continue.

“Well, I usually have a movie night with my sister. We get pot stickers and watch RomComs, and sometimes we’ll act out the really cheesy scenes when we’ve seen the movie a _thousand_ times.” Kara gushed.

From the corner of her eye, she caught Lena watching her, smiling at Kara’s enthusiasm.

Kara absentmindedly adjusted her glasses and shrugged, “I know it’s not very _romantic_ , but she’s my sister, and she’s the one who’s always there for me, and that’s the kind of love I like to celebrate on Valentine’s Day.”

“You’re adorable, Kara.”

Kara blushed.

“Though,” Lena sat forward, “I thought you’d have suitors lining up out the door for you too.”

Her blush deepened, “Me? Pfffft, nooo. Why would I – It just … it never works out, so – there are sometimes a few guys, but – “

“It’s not what you want?”

Kara looked down. She rubbed her palms across her thighs. Her hands felt sweaty. “They’re nice?”

“Of course they are,” said Lena, repositioning herself closer to Kara, “They’re nice. They’re handsome. They tell you how much they care about you, and some of them probably even mean it. They tell you all of their big plans for the dates they want to take you on and the gifts they want to buy you. You might even laugh at their terrible jokes because they’re cute when they smile, and it’s the least you can do.”

Kara fidgeted, “They’re my friends,” she said.

“Oh, even worse. You love them, but you can’t understand why you’re not _in_ _love_ with them. Not like they are with you.”

Kara nodded slowly, “It’s like you’re inside my head.”

Lena was so close now that Kara could smell her perfume. As Kara sat, facing forward, still rigid in her seat, Lena angled herself sideways, facing Kara, one arm propped up against the back of the couch.

“I’d very much like to be inside of you, Kara.” She said. Her words were soft, her tone unreadable.

Kara stood up, “I – I – I should go. I should … I have … things … writing things …. I have to write things. For work. Work means writing things. Lots of … things. Writing lots of things. Notepad full of things … to write.”

Lena stood up too, pulling the notepad out of Kara’s hand with a gentle tug.

“Lots of things?” her eyebrow arched. She opened the notepad to the first page: the heart. The smirk returned as she flashed the page for Kara to see, “Very important things by the looks of it.”

“That’s just … that’s shorthand.”

“Mmm,” said Lena with a dramatic nod that showed how little she believed Kara. She returned to the perch on her desk, flipping through the rest of the notepad, which was entirely blank.

“That’s very impressive shorthand if it lets you fit _so many_ things onto one page.”

“Don’t be such a …” Kara huffed.

“What am I being?” Lena’s smile was baiting.

Kara’s mind felt clouded. She adjusted her glasses again, the weight feeling almost too heavy. Her ears were ringing. The image of a fancy table setting flashed through her mind.

Then it passed.

“A jerkface,” sneered Kara.

Lena let out a bark of laughter. “What are we, five?”

Kara stuck her tongue out at Lena, playfully.

Lena rolled her eyes and then quickly returned the gesture.

It was Kara’s turn to laugh.

“Oh hush, you looked just as ridiculous.”

Kara grinned.

“Oh go away,” sneered Lena, holding out Kara’s notepad, “and write your very important things.”

Kara took a step toward her and reached out to take the notepad.

Lena didn’t let go.

Instead, she tugged again, pulling Kara toward her.

“What … are you doing?” whispered Kara.

Lena straightened, once again pushing herself up off her desk, never losing eye contact with Kara. She sidestepped Kara, who, turning to follow Lena’s gaze, didn’t realize what was happening until she felt the back of her legs bump against the desk.

She was pinned.

Lena was smirking.

Kara’s heart felt like it was trying to break free of her chest. She watched, frozen, as Lena reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Kara’s ear.

 Lena leaned toward her.

Kara followed her movement in her peripheral vision, the smirk never leaving Lena’s lips.

The lips Kara could now feel hovering over her ear.

“What do you want me to do?” Lena whispered.

Kara gasped at the warmth of Lena’s breath on her ear.

“whhhffff” Kara said, trying to formulate a coherent word. She could feel Lena’s gaze traveling down her neck, as if sizing up her next meal.

Lena pulled back so that she could be face to face with Kara again.

“Is that more shorthand?” she asked, playfully. Her voice seemed deeper, her pupils wider.

Kara suddenly felt incredibly warm. “I …”

“You know, it’s okay to want, Kara,” Lena said, her hips pushing gently, but firmly into Kara’s.

Kara’s hands fell back on the desk behind her to stabilize herself.  

“I _do_ want …” She was breathless.

“What do you want?” Lena’s gaze was all encompassing.

“I want … uh … I want …”

“You have to tell me, Kara. I have to hear you say it. I need to know what _you_ want.”

Kara lifted a hand and let it trace Lena’s side, the smooth silk gliding between her fingers. Lena closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation.

“You,” whispered Kara.

She wasn’t sure Lena had heard her at first; she had said it so softly.

But it was enough.

Lena pressed her torso against Kara’s, as if inch by inch their bodies were being fused together until finally their lips met.  

Kara forgot how to breathe. Lena wasn’t being forceful and yet the weight of her lips against Kara’s was too much to bear. Kara needed to … she needed to … her lips parted, taking Lena’s bottom lip between hers.

She could feel Lena smile, readjust.

She felt Lena’s tongue brush against her top lip. Kara let out a soft moan. Lena took the opportunity to seal her lips over Kara’s once more, letting her tongue slip into Kara’s mouth.

Kara’s body began to tremble. She needed more. She kissed Lena with the force of all her pent up passion. Lena whimpered, her throat vibrating with a low hum that sent shockwaves through Kara.

Kara felt Lena’s hand enclose around hers. She hadn’t realized she was still holding onto Lena’s side until Lena guided her hand to the small of Lena’s back instead.

Kara pulled Lena closer, her other hand still propping herself up on the desk.

“I want …” panted Kara into Lena’s mouth.

“What do you want?” Lena was just as out of breath.

“You. … I want _you_ ,” Kara leaned in to kiss Lena once more to emphasize her hunger.

“You have me,” Lena pressed herself more firmly against Kara.

Kara looked into Lena’s eyes. She could feel Lena’s breath on her lips, her chest heaving against Kara’s, the rhythmic motion of her hips rocking.

It was too much.

 It was not enough.

She had never wanted anything so badly.

“I want … _more_.” Kara said. She knew she was blushing, but she was too focused on Lena’s body against her own to feel the normal embarrassment or self-doubt that would have made her stutter or pull away.

Lena grinned, “Are you sure?”

Kara was starting to think again. She could feel her mind trying to race ahead, doubt, question, dismiss. She couldn’t let it happen. She couldn’t let herself overthink this.

“I’ve never – You’d be my – I don’t want to disappoint – ”

“Are. You. Sure?” Lena said, taking Kara’s chin in her hand, pulling her focus back to Lena.

Kara swallowed, hard. “I’ve never wanted anything – anyone – more.”

“Then trust me,” said Lena.

Kara pressed her forehead into Lena’s, letting their noses touch, “But … I don’t know … I don’t know what to do.”

Lena ran her index finger gently down Kara’s neck, feeling Kara’s skin shiver at her touch. “It’s okay, Kara … I’m used to being in charge.” With that, she kissed Kara again, cutting off any protest Kara could muster.

The last thing Kara remembered was Lena’s hand pushing into her shoulder and the cool glass of Lena’s desk pressed against her back and the ringing growing louder and louder in her ears …


	12. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara learns that Lena's plan is in jeopardy.

Kara was shaking when they pulled the headset off of her.

“What did you do?!” She was looking around wildly, disoriented at the sight of Alex, J’onn, Lucy, and Maggie all hovering over her.

“We had to pull you out,” Alex said, her voice distraught, “What the hell happened in there?”

“What do you mean?” Kara sat up slowly; she ran a finger across her lips. She could still feel them tingling.

“Your vital signs were all over the place,” said Lucy. “Between your heart rate and your temperature, it seemed like you had to be sprinting for your life.”

“That, or dying,” said Alex, her voice full of concern.

“I –“ Kara started, then stopped, “J’onn?” she said suddenly, “Did you interact with Lena at all when you were covering for me?”

He thought for a moment, “Not much. She knows you too well for me to be able to pass as you in a full conversation, but we needed her to think you were still here.”

“For her comfort or because you didn’t trust her enough to tell her that I was gone?”

J’onn cleared his throat, “Both, Supergirl. So I smiled from a distance. … But didn’t get close.”

“What does this have to do with the simulation?” Alex said, placing a hand on top of Kara’s.

“Lena can’t wake herself,” said Kara.

She watched everyone else exchange uncomfortable glances.

“What do you mean?” asked Lucy, finally.

“She wasn’t planning to go in alone. She knew I’d go in after her. At least … if I had actually been the one here.” She said, giving J’onn a long stare.

“Of course,” said Alex, suddenly straightening in her chair, “You would have gone after her, and Hale could never resist putting Supergirl in the tank. He probably would have used Lena as leverage to get you to enter one.”

“So what does this mean? What do we do now?” asked Maggie.

“We find a way to get me into one of those tanks,” said Kara. “If I’m right, that’s the only way Lena’s plan can work.”

“Based on the sample energy readings Lena provided us, we have narrowed down their potential locations,” said J’onn.

“How many are there?”

“Three.”

Alex stood up, “Are we sure there’s only three?”

J’onn nodded, “The way the tanks cycle energy is quite unique. If you know the energy patterns to look for, it’s easy to narrow down.”

“In that case, it’s not one of the three locations … it’s all of them,” said Alex.

“Three tanks. Three locations. Hale wouldn’t risk putting them all in one place,” said Maggie, picking up on Alex’s logic.

“Lena could be in any of them,” said Lucy.

“So could Hale,” said Alex.

“No,” said Kara, “He’d want to watch her suffer. He’d want to see her die. He’ll be with her.”

“So we find her; we find him. If we can get the controller –“ said Maggie.

“No.” Kara said again, more forcefully this time. She stood up, holding the arm of the chair for support as her mind whirled from the drugs still coursing through her system, “That’s too dangerous. We don’t know how to use the controller, and if we barge in there, Hale could … he could kill her. Or escape while we try to save her.”

“So then, what do we do?” asked Lucy.

J’onn and Kara locked eyes. He knew what she was thinking.

He nodded, “Hale’s position will be the most fortified. We don’t need to get in there. We take out the other two, and let Supergirl help Lena infiltrate his base from the inside, out.”

“What? No!” cried Alex. “Supergirl’s never been in a real simulator! It could kill her! And she doesn’t even know how to wake herself up, let alone someone else! If Hale learns that she’s in there or that we’ve taken over his other positions …” Alex looked ready to cry. No matter how many times she faced losing her sister, it never got easier.

“Alex,” said Kara, “It’s the only way.”

“That’s not true, and you know it,” said Alex.

“Okay, you’re right. But it’s the best shot we have at getting Lena out of this unharmed,” said Kara.

“And of making sure Hale can’t escape with a working controller,” added J’onn.

“I almost lost you to the Black Mercy,” whispered Alex. “This isn’t any better.”

Kara grasped her sister by both arms. “Don’t worry, there’s an extra tank if you need to come in after me again,” she said, trying to bring some levity to the situation.

“Don’t even joke about that,” sniffed Alex. “You know I would.”

“I know,” said Kara, “But I’m going to do what I can to make sure you don’t have to.”

“How are you going to do that?” asked Maggie.

 “J’onn? Lucy? Let me know when your teams are prepped.” Kara sat back down, and took up the headset, “Until then, I’m going to keep … practicing.”


	13. Overshare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie is jealous. Alex overshares. Lucy continues to question her timing.

Alex sat back with a frustrated sigh.

 “Something wrong?” Maggie turned her head slightly, so that she could continue to watch the vitals monitor and look at Alex.

“I don’t think so … but I don’t know. I can’t understand _any_ of this.” Alex tilted the laptop for Maggie to see strings of seemingly random numbers and letters rapidly scrolling down the screen. “Lena made it look so easy; one glance and she could tell you _exactly_ what was happening in the simulation.”

Maggie gingerly leaned over to scan the lines, “I thought you were supposed to be able to _see_ the simulation?”

“On the newer models, apparently. The control hub was supposed to show it like a video feed. The portable control units, like Hale stole, don’t show it, but they give action readouts. Lena said L Corp didn’t bother creating the programming to translate it for this one, since it was such a preliminary model.”

Maggie shrugged, wincing as she did so, “What about your nerdy computer guy? Why not bring him in? He’d probably understand.”

“Winn?” Alex shook her head, “He probably could, but Lena refused when we originally asked.”

“That makes sense: why have the computer guy help with the complex computer problem when you could instead get yourself kidnapped and drown yourself in a tank of hypnotic goo?” said Maggie.

Alex ignored Maggie’s sarcasm, “I think she’s scared that if he understands it, he could replicate it.”

Maggie thought about that for a minute, “He does seem like the kind of guy who’d try to make a simulated ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ or something.”

Alex laughed, “Be nice.”

 “Always,” Maggie smirked. “So, do you want to switch?”

“You can read code like this?” Alex sounded both surprised and impressed.

“No, but I also have no idea what a Kryptonian’s normal vital signs are supposed to be,” said Maggie. “And you might actually be helpful there.”

Alex leaned back even farther in her chair so that she could scan the vitals monitor, “Seems normal. Besides, you did fine last time.”

“Yeeeaaah, when a heart switches from one bpm to ninety bpm, even I can tell something is probably wrong.”

“Speaking of which,” said Alex, “How are _you_ feeling?”

Maggie let out a short laugh, and then clutched her side with a grimace, “I’ve been better.”

“Did you take your pain meds like I told you to?”

“Yes, Doctor Danvers, but only the mild ones because they're strong enough as is, and I can’t help here if I’m drugged out of my mind.” Maggie waved a hand at Kara and the simulator, “Not with the drugs I’m on, at least.”

Alex gave Maggie a pitying look, “I’m sorry, Mags, I shouldn’t have brought you here. You should be home, resting.”

“If you left me on my own, I’d just find some other way to get in trouble. At least here I’m useful.” Maggie looked back at the monitor, “Sort of.”

“Well,” said Alex, reaching across Kara to take Maggie’s hand, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Maggie smiled, but her eyebrows furrowed, “Are you?”

Alex pulled her hand back, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You just seemed kind of annoyed earlier –“

“You mean when you were referencing our _sex life_ while I’m at work? A sex life, by the way, that we barely have yet because someone –” she gestured at Maggie, “is currently broken in multiple places.”

“Are you upset because you’re at work or because it was in front of your girlfriend over there?” Maggie nodded toward Supergirl.

“My what?!” Alex stood up, angrily, “You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“I have eyes, Alex. And I see yours light up every time she enters the room. You talk about her constantly. She’s always by your side. You’d clearly do anything for her –“

“She says the same whenever I’m around you!”

“The _same_.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“What did you mean, Alex?”

“She’s like a sister to me, Maggie.”

“Oh, so am I like a sister to you, too?”

“No! Would you stop twisting my words around?!”

“Your words are already pretty twisted, Danvers; I’m just trying to untangle them.”

Alex pointed at her sister with what the military would classify as a ‘knife hand,’ “ _She’s_ like a sister to me.” She then pointed at Maggie, “ _You’re_ like a … I like you differently than that. Okay? I care about you both. But I care about you in a romantic way and _her_ ” the hand shot back to Kara, “in a non-romantic way. Like a sister.”

“Ah, you mean like the sister you completely forgot about when we walked into her apartment, and you found Supergirl there instead?”

“That’s unfair. It’s my job, my JOB, to make sure Supergirl’s okay.”

“Even at the expense of your own life?”

Alex didn’t know whether Maggie was referring to sacrificing her life in general or sacrificing her life outside of work, but it didn’t matter. “Yes! Even then. Especially then. That’s what I signed up for. That’s the work I do.  I thought you, of all people, would understand that.”

“Oh, I _understand_.”

“I didn’t take you for the jealous-type, Mags.”

“Jealous? Alex, I just want to know what I’m getting myself into! I already had my heart broken once this year, and I’ve broken all of my own rules even _being_ with you –“

“Because I’m ‘fresh off the boat’?”

“Because sometimes the girl who makes you realize you’re gay isn’t actually the girl you want!”

“I _do_ want you, Maggie!” Alex ran her hands through her hair with another frustrated sigh. Taking a deep breath, she sat back down, “Look, if I were a cop, Supergirl would be like my partner. We have a special bond. We always have each other’s back. It’s the only way we can do what we do.”

“You can tell yourself that all you want, Alex, but the way you look at each other? Come on, you can barely let go of her hand every time she goes into the simulation. That’s not normal partnership.”

“You weren’t here, Maggie. When Supergirl was infected by the Black Mercy, I almost lost her,” Alex’s eyes began to tear up. “Not just because she almost died, but when she came back, she was so … sad. So confused. If this machine can do something like that to her … I’m scared. I don’t think she can face that again. _I_ can’t face that again. What if I can’t save her this time?”

“You won’t lose her,” Maggie sighed.

“How do you know?”

“Because she has you,” Maggie stood up, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should go home and rest.”

“That’s it? You’re just going to walk away?”

“When this is over, we can talk. That would probably be better. I need some time to think. And I’m making a mess of things with my mind on these painkillers.”

“No, Maggie, I need you here.  I can’t do this without you.”

“Like you said, I wasn’t here before with the Black Mercy, and you managed to do just fine.”

“Why are you being like this?” cried Alex.

“Why am _I_ being like this? Because I _like_ you, Alex!” Shouted Maggie, immediately regretting it from the searing pain in her ribs.  She continued, more quietly, “I _really_ like you, and that means that if you break my heart, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch. And I know you wouldn’t do it intentionally, but … you’ve got a lot to learn about yourself … So I’d rather stop now than put myself through that again. I don’t want to be the number two girl in your life.”

“Maggie …”

“It’s okay, Alex. I showed you that you like girls; you showed me the DEO. We both walk away with new insight.”

“No one’s walking away.”

“Maybe we should.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t tell me what I mean. We’ve barely even had a date yet. You don’t get that right.”

“I came out _for you_. I admitted something to myself that I was scared to even _think_ before I met you. Not for _Supergirl_ , for _you_. Because I like _you_! You have nothing to be jealous of! Besides, Supergirl isn’t even into girls – ”

Maggie snorted.

“What?”

“Nothing … So, if Supergirl wasn’t into guys? If you thought you actually had a shot with her –“

“No! That’s – again, you’re twisting my words. She’s like a sister to me!”

“You’ve said that.”

“Because it’s true!”

“I’m sure it’s easier to think that-“

“Easier than what?!”

  
“Than admitting –“

“DAMMIT, MAGGIE, SHE’S MY SISTER!”

Alex took a deep, shaky breath.

_What had she done?_

Maggie looked down at Supergirl as if seeing her for the first time.

Alex crossed the room in a flash, her hands gripped around Maggie’s arm, “That’s – No – I was just saying –“

“Your … sister.” Maggie looked up at Alex.  

Alex could see the gears turning in Maggie’s head. She nodded slowly, “Yes. My … my sister.”

What had she done? She had just outted  her sister because she couldn’t stand the thought of the girl she liked walking away! This was why the DEO had always warned against dating. This was especially why no one in their right mind would bring a date to work. She could withstand hours of torture and not say a word, but Maggie looks at her the wrong way and suddenly she can’t keep her mouth shut? She should have stuck with dating men. Then she wouldn’t care enough to want them to understand. This was bad. What would J’onn say? How disappointed was he going to be? Would he still want her to be an agent? Would he ever trust her again? Did she deserve to be an agent after this? And what about Kara? Oh god, to see the hurt and betrayal in Kara’s eyes… Alex would never survive. She had done the unthinkable ... for a girl. 

“Okay,” said Maggie.

“… Okaaay?” Alex wasn’t sure what was happening.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.”

“I’m … right?”

Maggie sighed, “If you say she’s like a sister to you, then, okay, that’s what she is. Who am I to question that? Ever since we met, you’ve given me no reason to doubt you, and I’m being … unfair.”

Alex just stared, a look of pure disbelief plastered across her face.

 “I’m not normally like this. I’m not … jealous … and all that. But you’re right; I _am_ being jealous. I’m letting my insecurity get between us.”

Alex wasn’t sure if she wanted to jump for joy or weep.

“Please say something,” said Maggie. “I don’t do well with feelings.”

“It’s because … you really like me,” said Alex with the faintest glimmer of a smile.

Maggie let out a sigh of relief, “You _know_ I do. But that’s no excuse. My dad used to say ‘hurt people, _hurt_ people.’ I don’t want to hold you accountable for my past relationships. It’s not your fault that other people hurt me, and I can’t expect you to act differently because of what they did. You don’t deserve that … Can you forgive me?”

“You’re not the only one who’s gotten a little crazy because of jealousy.”

“I’m not?”

“I made Lucy do a background check on that alien bartender you were dating.” The words spilled out of Alex before she could stop them.

“You what?”

“I wanted to see if I could get her deported from … uhm … Earth.”

“Alex … that’s insane.” Maggie let out a short, incredulous laugh, trying not to disturb her injuries.

“Yeah,” Alex nodded, “I know. It’s completely insane. You make me feel incredibly out of control. And I can’t guarantee that I won’t do more insane things because I like you, and I have never really liked anyone before. And I may keep things from you not because of any problems with _us_ but because that’s the nature of my work. Are you sure you can … or want to … deal with that?”

“Do you plan on breaking my heart?” asked Maggie.

Alex shook her head furiously, “No.”

“If you see me talking to another girl, are you going to try to break her neck?”

Alex put an index finger to her chin, as if pondering the question, “Mmmm, if you can trust me with Supergirl, I can settle for just a leg or two.”

Maggie laughed, shaking her head, “I can work with that,” she said, pulling Alex in for a kiss. “Besides,” she said, as she pulled away, “I don’t want to be the girl who finds out what happens when you break the heart of Supergirl’s ‘sister.’”

The smile on Alex’s face disappeared suddenly. She let out a forced laugh, “I mean, she’s not actually –“

“I know. I know,” said Maggie, “But when I see you two together, I’ll just think of you and Kara.”

“Uhm, you know, that might not be the best idea. When I said _sister_ I wasn’t _really_ saying ‘sister.’”

Maggie smiled, “I know what you meant.”

“Okay, because uhm, you see, if Kara heard me say that I think of Supergirl as a sister, she might uhm be the one to feel …”

“Ah,” said Maggie, “She might be the jealous, insecure one.”

“Exactly,” said Alex. “And I don’t want either of you to feel that way. You understand what I'm trying to say?”

Maggie winked, “I won’t say a word.”

“That's ... yeah ... probably for the best.” Said Alex.

“Though, you know, I haven’t really spent any time with Kara. I’d like to get to know her better since she means so much to you. Supergirl too.”

“That’d be … really nice,” said Alex.

“Just not together,” clarified Maggie, “Gotta make them each feel special, right?”

Alex wrapped a finger through Maggie’s belt loop, pulling her in for another kiss, “Just not as special as me.”

“No one’s as special as you.”

There was a knock on the door, and Lucy’s head popped in. She took in the scene, opened her mouth as if to say something, thought better of it, and simply said, “We’re ready. Wake our girl. ”

Alex cleared her throat, “We’ll meet you at Transpo?”

“Affirmative. Third button on the bottom left.” Lucy slipped back out into the hallway.

Alex began typing a sequence into the laptop.

 “ _Our_ girl? You have to admit, it does at least seem like everyone’s in love with her,” said Maggie.

“How could you not be?” Alex smiled down at her sister, “She’s amazing.” She gave a sideways glance at Maggie. “Don’t you go getting any ideas, though. You’re mine.”

“Yes Ma’am.” Said Maggie. “All yours.”

“That’s ‘Madame President’ to you,” said Alex, grinning.


	14. Bravo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team enacts their plan.

The explosion ripped a hole in the concrete, turning the air to ash and dust. 

Kara felt the bullets snap against her skin as the muzzle flashes lit up the haze. All around her, friendly fire whizzed past her face, targeting the muted light bursts, trying to find the enemy behind the curtain of cinder and soot.

She stepped over the twisted steel and charred blocks that had once been a wall. Small chunks of cement crumbled under her feet with every step.

There was no rush.

Kara’s purpose was to draw fire, and she was doing it well.

Despite the gunfire and shouting all around her, Kara could hear Alex clearly in her ear.

Bravo Team was in position.

The diversion had worked.

Kara could feel herself grinning. She hated war. She hated having to hurt people. But she loved having a purpose. She loved being the one to bring others to justice. Nothing felt better than taking the power away from those who thought they were too powerful to ever be held accountable. She took extra pleasure in the look of anger, then resignation, on the faces of the men who thought a woman could never overpower them.

She almost laughed when she saw Vasquez elbow a man directly in the jaw, immediately knocking him out. As much as she loved standing alongside her friends in the alternate universe, this was her home. These were her friends, her team, and the fellow protectors of her world. _Their_ world.

This was where she belonged.

The fighting felt like it lasted for hours, but it was only a matter of minutes before Alpha Team secured the breach.

Kara put a finger to the communicator in her ear, “Bravo Team, this is Alpha Team. We are secure. Over.”

“Roger, Alpha Team. Bravo Team is moving in. Over.” said Alex.

“Bravo Team,” Lucy’s voice cut in over the comms, “Protect that tank at all costs. Over.”

A painful moment of silence passed. Word had already reached Kara and Alex that Delta and Charlie Teams had failed to secure the tank at Base 2. Hale’s men had retreated into the tank holding room and fought until every last one was unable to fire another shot.

In the gun fight, the tank had been hit multiple times, breaching the protective outer polymer and breaking through the insulated interior glass layer. Attempts to patch the holes had only resulted in more splintering of the glass and fluid buildup between the insulated layers.

Echo and Foxtrot Teams had Base 3 surrounded, but the plan had called for them to wait until Lena and Kara had dismantled the tanks and shut down the simulation programming. Besides, if Lena was inside the tank at Base 3, there wouldn’t be a tank for Kara there, and there was no safe way for Kara to infiltrate that base AND save Lena.

Base 1 was their only hope.

“Roger that,” came Alex’s voice, tighter than before.

Charlie and Delta had strong-armed their way into Base 2. Alex and Kara hoped that their diversion would pull enough resistance from Base 1’s tank room to let the smaller insert team pick off any remaining guards without too much carnage.

It had to work.

Kara took a deep breath, using her air blast to put out a fire in front of a large metal door. A door she promptly ripped off its hinges and threw aside. She clapped her hands together, dusting off the ash.

“Alpha Team, on me. We sweep all rooms.” She shouted.

The team regrouped behind her.

Base 1 had been a warehouse. Fortunately, it was only one story, but it was a large building with many smaller rooms. If Hale’s men knew her team was here, they could be hiding anywhere. She couldn’t risk them mounting a surprise attack once she was in the tank. So her team began to sweep from room to room; Kara using her x-ray vision to avoid anyone jumping out on them.

It was slow work, and Alex was quiet. Too quiet. She should have checked in by now.

By the time they cleared the last rooms in their section, Kara was sweating, not from the exertion, but from anticipation.

Where was her sister?

She put her finger to her ear, “Bravo Te-“

“Incoming,” Hissed Vasquez.

Dark shapes flashed across the T-intersection of the corridor, a hundred yards down from their position.

There was no cover in the corridor.

“Behind me,” said Kara.

Her team formed up in a straight line behind her, each team member holding their weapon pressed to their torso with one hand, and the shoulder of their anterior team member with the other.

Kara spread her cape wide, walking forward slowly. A bullet shot out from the darkness, hitting her directly in the sternum, momentarily pushing her backward.

She felt Vasquez’s hand between her shoulder blades, pushing her forward.

The enemy opened fire.

Kara took another step, her team propelling her onward as bullets drove her back. She only hoped her cape and body were wide enough to keep any deflected bullet from ricocheting off a wall and hitting one of her team members.

The gun fire got louder, but the downpour of bullets seemed to be growing lighter.

By the time Kara made it to the end of the corridor, the firing had stopped entirely.

On either end of the corridor, DEO agents stood, shouldering their large automatic rifles.

“What took you so long?” said one, with a lopsided grin.

Vasquez stepped out from behind Kara. She threw a thumb over her shoulder in Kara’s direction, “We had this one slowing us down.”

“Typical,” said the agent with a laugh. He cleared his throat when he saw Supergirl rest her fists on her hips, her jaw jutting sideways as she arched an eyebrow.

“Agent Danvers is this way, Ma’am,” he said, opening his arm wide to motion down a stretch of hallway.

Kara breezed past him, giving him a playful wink as she did so.

Another large set of metal doors stood at the end of the hallway. A thin rectangular window with mesh wiring interwoven into the glass was set into each door. Both windows were cracked from the inside, bullets lodged within the mesh.

Kara heaved the doors open with a grunt. A blast of cold air hit her as she stepped inside.

The room had probably been a cafeteria at one point, but it was practically empty now except for the large cylindrical tank at the center of the room. The only lights in the room came from a white light directly above the tank and a blue light radiating from the tank itself, like a giant lava lamp.

Alex stood before the tank, staring at it curiously with her hands on her hips, as was their natural state.  

She turned when she heard the doors open, “Supergirl!” she smiled, her voice filled with both relief and exhaustion.

“You did it!” said Kara, striding toward her sister with a grin.

Alex sighed and turned aside. It was then that Kara saw what her sister had been staring at: A single bullet had hit the tank, a web of cracks radiating out from the point of contact.

Inside the tank, a body was floating lifelessly in the fluid.

Alex didn’t wait for her sister to say anything, “The bullet has only penetrated the outer layer. It … it should hold.”

“And the body?”

“We were too late.”

“Why didn’t you check in?” asked Kara.

“This room blocks out comms,” explained Alex, guiding Kara around the tank to a table set up behind it. The table was covered in tech equipment. “Hale’s men were using grounded communication lines. We just managed to reach Charlie and Delta teams through their secured line.”

“Wouldn’t Hale hear you?” Concern crept into Kara’s voice. If Hale knew they had his other two bases, he might get desperate and speed up his timeline for his revenge on Lena.

“There are multiple lines, Supergirl. That was a direct line. Nothing fancy. Our big concern was that one of his men might have sent him a message before we arrived or before Base Two was secured, but it doesn't look like any had been able to reach the communication equipment in time. Anyway, now that the base is cleared, we’ll have agents outside to manage comms.”

“Okay … good … Any update on their tank?” said Kara, getting back to the business at hand.

Alex gave Kara a long look.

“What? Is it unfixable? We only need one working tank,” said Kara.

“It’s – it’s not that.” Alex looked at the body floating in front of them, “There’s an alien in their tank too.”

“What?” Kara snapped to attention, “Alive?”

Alex nodded, “But that tank won’t hold, Supergirl.”

“Then I need to get in that simulation as soon as possible,” said Kara. She looked up at the body floating in the tank and then back at her sister, “Uhm ... is there, like, replacement fluid?”

“Filtration system,” said Alex.

“Right,” said Kara.

“On the bright side, once you’re in the simulation, you won’t think about it,” said Alex.

“Somehow, that’s not very reassuring.”


	15. Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets some last minute advice and says goodbye.

By the time both the tank and Kara were prepped, Maggie had joined Alpha and Bravo teams at the base. Despite her best efforts to keep Alex calm, she could tell by the agent’s incessant pacing and tapping of her fingers against her hips that she would not be able to calm down until Supergirl was out of the simulation.

“Look,” said Maggie, “It’s been over two hours since the tank got hit, and the crack has barely spread.”

Alex turned her head to look at Maggie as she paced by her, “Lena never mentioned why there were two layers. We have no idea what this could do.”

“And Supergirl wants to go ahead with it anyway?”

Alex didn’t say anything, only giving Maggie a devastated look as she paced back in the opposite direction.

“Okay then,” sighed Maggie.

“I think we’re ready.” Both Maggie and Alex turned to see Supergirl approaching. Though she was trying to sound confident, her voice betrayed her concern. Every few seconds, her gaze turned away to scan the cracks in the tank.

“You’re _sure_ about this?” asked Alex, following her sister’s line of sight.

Kara took one last lingering look at the tank, and then locked eyes with her sister, “I’m sure. I _have_ to do this.”

“I won’t be able to come in after you,” said Alex. “Not with the other tank in that condition.”

“This isn’t the Black Mercy, Alex. I know it’s similar and that scares you … it scares me too. But it won’t be my memories. It won’t be my home.  I won’t give in so easily. I won’t give up. I won’t – I won’t _want_ to stay.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Alex looked down at her feet, trying to hide the fear in her eyes. “Just remember, you don’t know what you’re walking into.”

“I know,” said Kara. “But it’s military, right? So what are we talking? Jumping out of airplanes? Sneaking around jungles? Running through burning cities?” She smirked slightly at the thought of Lena, in full camouflage, wading through a swamp.

Alex shrugged hopelessly, “Maybe.”

Maggie put a hand on Alex’s back, reassuringly, “Did Lucy show you the video of Lena’s simulation results?”

Kara nodded.

“Some of the simulations were designed to be classic military training and drills. But after all of the incidents, Lena said they spent the last year trying to totally redesign the simulations to make them relevant but … less …” Maggie struggled to find the right wording.

“Less … real?” said Alex, trying to help.

“What is that supposed to mean?” said Kara. “I … I have been prepping myself mentally for military simulations, and you’re telling me … what, exactly?”

“We’re telling you that you could end up in Hogwarts just as easily as Desert Storm. That’s what we’re trying to say,” said Maggie.

“Why would the military want that? And why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Because we have no idea what the simulations could be, and we can’t change it, and you can’t prepare for it, and only the newer controllers had these updated simulations so … we didn’t want you to worry. Besides, I was hoping Lena would … not need you.” Said a flustered Alex, as she nervously bit down on a fingernail.

Maggie reached up with her free hand, slowly but firmly pulling Alex’s hand away from her mouth and back down to her side, “Lena’s a problem solver, Supergirl. And a business woman. Since real world simulations were causing too many problems for her subjects, she thought putting them in more fantastical worlds might make the transition easier. There would be less confusion about the dividing lines between the simulation and the real word. And, if it solved the problems they were having with subjects, then she was already halfway to having simulations her commercial audience would want.”

“It also, uhm, would prepare them for … alien … situations,” said Alex, slowly.

“Alien situations?” Kara crossed her arms defensively, “Right: other worlds, different powers, non-standard warfare. Soldiers who can fight an evil alien wizard _or_ a guerilla army.”

“Basically,” said Alex and Maggie in unison.

“Why does she have to be so … crafty?” Kara put her hands behind her head, turning in a circle, letting this new information sink in, “Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe it means it’ll be easier for me to wake up.”

“Let’s hope,” said Alex. She gave Maggie’s hand a squeeze before letting go. “I’m going to be here monitoring you the whole time. And if anything seems off, I _will_ send in Echo and Foxtrot teams to get that controller from Hale.”

“You will not.” said Kara. She spread her arms wide, pulling her sister into a giant hug, “Promise me one thing?”

“I know,” said Alex, “I won’t actually do it unless things get … dire.”

“That’s not what I was going to ask you,” said Kara.

“Fine. Anything,” said Alex, her face pressed into her sister’s collarbone, and her arms curling around her sister’s shoulders.

Kara let go, taking Alex’s face in both of her hands.

Maggie cleared her throat, taking a few awkward steps away. On one hand, she recognized that this was a private moment, and that Supergirl could die. On the other hand, she might kill her herself if Supergirl kept holding Alex that way.

“Promise me that, if anything happens, you won’t blame yourself,” whispered Kara, so only Alex could hear her.

“Kar-“

“Alex. Promise me. If anything happens, you won’t blame yourself. You’ll keep on living, and you’ll remember, “ her voice cracked and tears began to pool in her eyes, “you’ll remember that I love you more than anything. Always. And I’m so proud and grateful to have you as my sister.”

“Can’t I go instead?”

“No,” said Kara, “I have to do this. Now promise me.”

“You make me do this every time,” said Alex, her attempted laugh coming out as a sob instead.

“Because,” said Kara, “Every time I do, it always turns out okay. Right?”

“Right,” said Alex, wiping away a tear, “I promise. I love you, Kara. I’m so proud of you. I – I can’t imagine a life without you. … So make sure you come back to me, okay?”

“That’s the plan,” said Kara, pulling her sister back in for one more hug.

They were both slower letting go of each other this time. When Kara finally let go, Alex needed both hands to wipe away her tears. “I’ll … I’ll go get your headset.”

Kara turned to follow Alex, but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Supergirl,” said Maggie, hesitantly.

“Take care of her, Maggie. If anything happens to me … she’ll need you more than ever.”

“I will,” said Maggie. “Take care of yourself in there.”

Kara nodded.

Maggie was still holding her shoulder, as if she still had something else to say.

“What is it?” asked Kara.

“The controller,” said Maggie haltingly, “that Hale has …”

“What about it?”

“It does a readout of all of your actions. Everything you say too. … At least, that’s what it sounds like based on what Lena told us. He shouldn’t be able to see you, but … if you do anything in there that’s … abnormal ... he’ll have record of it.”

Kara nodded thoughtfully, taking in what Maggie was saying.

“I know you won’t know who you are until you, uhm, ‘wake up,’ but Lena said you do keep your general personality and skills and that a lot of the simulations can feed on your subconscious thoughts and fears and even scan you physically. So … what I’m trying to say is … maybe … just keep that in mind? If Hale wants to study your powers and learn how to defeat you, the best thing you can do is … not … use them. Saying this might do nothing, but maybe, somewhere deep down, you’ll remember.”

Kara’s face had gone blank. Part of her plan had relied on her ability to surprise Hale. If he had any idea that Supergirl was in one of his tanks, he would know they were on to him.  What would he do to her? Or to Lena?

“Maggie … I don’t know what to say, except … thank you. I’ll do whatever I can to keep that in mind.”

Maggie took her hand off of Kara’s shoulder, awkwardly attempting to straighten Kara’s cape where her hand had pressed it down, “Just trying to be useful.”

Kara turned away, then turned back, pulling Maggie into a gentle hug. “I’m glad Alex has you,” she said, letting go. “Whew, alright, now or never.”

She gave Maggie one last smile before flying across the room to where her sister was waiting, headset in hand.


	16. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara enters the tank.

The fluid felt cold against her skin. It was thicker than Kara had imagined, like a syrup. As it seeped into her cape, the weight of it threatened to pull her under before she was ready.

Alex stood on the top rung of a ladder, propped against the side of the tank. Kara rested her chin on her arms, which were crossed and resting on the lip of the tank closest to her sister. She closed her eyes as Alex adjusted the headset one final time. It was much smaller and lighter than the headset she had used in the lab. She thought it looked more like a diadem than any kind of virtual reality headset.

“You’re all set,” said Alex.

Kara opened her eyes and smiled up at Alex, “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

“I know,” said Alex, “That’s why I’ll always be here for you. … I love you.”

Kara uncrossed her arms, giving Alex’s hand a squeeze, “Love you more,” she said, letting go of Alex and pushing herself into the center of the tank. “Here goes nothing,” she said, taking a deep breath before plunging herself down into the liquid.

Alex heaved the tank’s mechanical lid into place, listening for the hiss of its air seal as it locked. She hurried down the ladder to get a better view of her sister.

Kara gave her sister a thumbs-up as she came into blurry view outside of the tank. They all knew that if she waited for the air to run out in her lungs, she’d waste too much time. Slowly, she let out the inhale she had taken, ignoring the survival voice in her head screaming at her to stop.

Then it was her lungs screaming: They wanted air.

The panic began to set in.

She kicked her way to the top of the tank, searching for an air bubble, but the lid was flush with the liquid line.

 Her mind told her to go for the glass.

She was strong.

She could break it.

Alex watched, frozen in a state of horror as her sister fought to keep from drowning.

Maggie sidled up to her, “She’s going to break the tank.”

Kara’s hands smacked against the glass.

Alex was too focused on the pained expression on Kara’s face to see the cracks in the tank’s outer layer widen, but Maggie wasn’t.

“Alex!” she said, shaking the agent, “She’s going to break the tank!”

Alex pulled herself out of her stupor, jumping into action.

Kara brought her hands back once more, ready to put all of her energy toward breaking free. Her vision was already starting to go dark. Her thoughts were swimming as she was sinking. With one final push she brought her hands forward with all of her remaining strength …

And paused.

Alex’s hands were pressed against the glass.

Kara could see her face clearly, staring at her through her liquid prison.

Kara pressed her hands against the outlines’ of Alex’s. Their eyes met. Their gazes were both full of pain and fear.

And then Kara gave in, letting the fluid rush into her lungs, her hands slipping away.

Maggie needed the help of two DEO agents to haul a struggling Alex back away from the tank. She didn’t even realize she had been banging on the glass and making the cracks worse.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Shhhh,” Despite the burning in her own ribs and the pulsing in her shoulder, Maggie held a squirming Alex until she settled, “We have work to do,” she said.

Alex sniffed, straightening out, unable to look at her sister.

All emotions left her face as she marched over to the table covered in its many tech gadgets.

From the back of the room, two agents made their way toward her, dragging a limp body between them.

“He said the black button, correct?” Alex didn’t look at them. She was afraid any break in her concentration would cause her resolve to collapse.

“Yes Ma’am,” said one of the agents.

Alex pressed the black button and took a step back.

Nothing happened.

She wheeled herself around and practically sprang on the limp body. “If you lied to me,” she snarled, “I will personally skin you alive and let a White Martian feast on your intestines like its favorite pasta dish. You understand me?!”

The man was barely conscious. A makeshift tourniquet on his arm was soaked through with blood that wended its way down his arm in rivulets. “I promise,” he said, blood spattering his lips as he labored to speak.

“Ma’am,” one of the agents said.

Alex turned her attention to the agent, and then followed his gaze to the top of the tank. The lights on the mechanical lid were flashing, and the light within, which had turned a reddish pink when they had removed the previous body, had switched to blue once again.

She gazed at the injured man out of the corner of her eye, “So, this means he’s added her?”

The man nodded as furiously as he could muster, “Is … is the headset light on?”

“Maggie,” Alex called out, “Is the headset light on?”

Maggie peered into the liquid, “Looks like it.”

“Then she’s in,” said the man. “Now please, a doctor.”

“How do we know she’s okay?” snapped Alex.

The man laughed, blood dripping down his chin, “You won’t. But if the lid unlocks, she’s left the simulation … one way or another.”

Alex’s face scrunched in disgust, “Take him away.”

She didn’t realize she had collapsed against the table until she felt Maggie press herself around her.

“Have some faith, Danvers. She is Supergirl, afterall.”

For the first time, Alex let herself look at her sister. Kara’s body was suspended in the center of the liquid, her cape swirling down beneath her, both arms floating limply at her side.

“I sometimes forget that,” said Alex.

_All I see is my sister_ , she thought.


	17. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara enters the simulation.

A sudden jolt pulled Kara from her slumber.

She sat up slowly, brushing straw from the cloak she had wrapped around herself like a blanket. She reached up absently and pulled a long stalk out of her hair.

Above her, the sun shone brightly through the trees. Beneath her, she could feel the cart rumbling along the dirt road.

“We’re almost there, M’Lady.”

Kara hoisted herself up, holding onto the rough-hewn wooden edges of the cart as she made her way to the driver. His head was hidden behind a grey cap, which matched his shirt made from a similar grey homespun cloth. Both showed the sweat stains and grime that came with traveling long distances down dusty roads. Kara could smell him from there, and wondered if she smelled as bad.

With great effort, she pulled herself out of the cart bed and sat down next to him on the driver’s bench. For a moment, she watched his donkey laboring to pull the load forward.

“You’ll want to be hidin’ that crystal, M’Lady,” said the cart driver, pointing to his own chest since it would be inappropriate to motion toward hers.

Kara looked down at the green crystal hanging around her neck. “Of course,” she said, tucking it into her shirt. “But, uhm, why? Pray tell.”

“All throughout these lands, it’s known that Uthor hates and fears magic or anythin’ that could be mistaken for bein’ magical-like,” said the driver. “If M’Lady arrives at the tourney with such a stone, she could be makin’ more trouble for herself than needs be had.”

_Uthor._

Kara pressed her palm into her forehead. Her mind yearned and reached like it does when there is a word that sits on the tip of the tongue but cannot be found.

_Uthor_. _The one who_ _hates magic. The one who distrusts the magical. Uthor. Uthoorrr._

“That _name_ … why does that name sound _so_ familiar?” Her face contorted under the weight of her mental strain.

“Prolly ‘cos he’s the King, Lady Chiara,” said the driver, “And who hasn't heard tale of the King of Camelot?”


	18. Knightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chiara (Kara) gets her first taste of Camelot and learns that quests are never simple.
> 
> (Minor Merlin spoiler regarding Morgana's storyline)

By the time the cart reached the edge of the city, dusk was settling across the skyline.

“You’ll be wanting to hurry, M’Lady,” said the driver as he swung himself down from the bench. “The knights will be holdin’ at the citadel only til the last of the sun.”

Chiara graciously took the driver’s hand as he helped her off the bench.

“How can I ever repay you?” she asked, giving the donkey a thankful pat on the back.  “I never would have made it without you,” she said.

 It was hard to believe that she had been robbed by bandits on the road to Camelot. It felt so surreal, like it had happened to someone else in a past life. But here she was, without a copper piece to her name.

 “The Lady did me enough service providing me with such pleasant company. Used to be, a man could travel Albion from end to end without fearin’ for his life or his wares on the main roads. Dark days we’re in,” he said, shaking his head. “Be safe, M’Lady.”

“You too,” Chiara smiled, surprising the driver with an enveloping hug.

Registration was taking place outside of the citadel. If she didn’t put her name in by this evening, she would have to pay to enter, and she no longer had the five gold pieces needed for that.

Chiara took off at a bounding pace, glad to be using her legs again. The streets of Camelot twisted and turned, but her driver had known this city well. “Don’t go off the cobbled path and always, always go uphill. Keep the citadel straight ahead, but at the fork, let it rest on your left shoulder. If it takes the right, M’lady will find only wall,” he had said.

The last rays of sun were almost down by the time Chiara reached the gates of the citadel. Two guards stood sentry outside. They dropped their pikes, barring her way.

“What business do you have with the King?” said one.

“I am here to register for the Tournament of Knights,” stated Chiara.

The guard lifted his visor to get a better look at her. He burst out laughing.

“Why is that funny?” She put her hands on her hips.

“You?” asked the guard, “You want to compete for the honor of becoming a Knight of Camelot?”

“I do!” said Chiara.

“But you’re … a woman.”

“Where does it say that a woman cannot be accepted as a knight-in-training?” asked Chiara.

The guard turned to his fellow guardsmen for reinforcement.

The second guardsmen shrugged, “Any player, eighteen or older, can compete in the tournament.”

“Registration is closed,” said the first guard.

“But the sun has not yet set!” cried Chiara.

“You can come back in the morning,” said the first guard, “Registration will reopen then.”

“I can’t pay tomorrow’s price!”

“Then I guess you won’t be competing,” said the guard. He turned his attention forward to show that he was done speaking to Chiara.

“Please,” Chiara turned to the second guard, “I must compete.”

“Sir Klaine presides over the Tournament of Knights,” he said. “Today’s sun might be setting, but you can find him at the Rising Sun.”

“No, you don’t understand, I don’t have the gold for tomorrow. I can’t wait until then.”

“Today’s sun might be setting, but you can find him at the Rising Sun,” repeated the second guard.

Chiara was going to get no more out of these two.

She turned away, dejected.

The sun had now fully set, and, with it, Chiara’s hopes to compete.

She wandered aimlessly through the streets. The upper quarters were home to the artisans and trade merchants. Though their shops were all closed, she meandered through their alleys, lost in thought.

She had no money, no food, and no plan.

At some point in her wandering, Chiara found herself in a large square. It must have been a marketplace during the day, but the stands and stalls were all empty now.

From the corner of her eye, she saw something glinting in the moonlight. Curiously, she advanced to check it out. A silver piece! Wedged in the cracks of two cobblestones.

Chiara grinned, her eyes now scanning the marketplace with renewed interest.

An hour later, she sat at the base of the square’s large fountain. At the center of it, three stone horses pulled a chariot that seemed to ride over an ever-cresting wave. The water had looked clean enough, and, after drinking her fill, Chiara had bottled some in an empty potion bottle she had found.

It had been a somewhat successful scavenge: one silver piece, three bronze pieces, half a loaf of bread, the empty bottle, a frayed piece of rope, and a ripped potato sack.

Having no travel sack of her own, Chiara loaded her gear into the potato sack, tying off the two ends with the rope. She regretted not paying closer attention during her earlier travels through the city; she may have found a lot of other hidden treasures.

“Hey, you!”

She looked up to see a guard approaching. Chiara didn’t know if she should run or stay.

She decided to stay.

“Yes, sir?” she asked.

As the guard came closer, his demeanor changed, “I’m sorry, M’Lady, I thought you were a beggar come up to scavenge from the lower quarters.”

Chiara let out a forced laugh, “Me? A scavenger? Pfffft, absurd!”

“Why _is_ the Lady out here alone so late?” asked the guard, suspicion tinging his words.

“I … am visiting … for the tourney. And … I got … turned about … trying to find my lodging.”

“Ah,” said the guard, relaxing once more, “Camelot is quite the maze for the unfamiliar.”

“Yes,” said Chiara, “Quite.”

“Are you staying at an inn? I would happily escort the Lady, myself.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that,” said Chiara with a little too much exaggeration.

“I must insist,” said the guard.

Chiara could tell from his tone that more she resisted, the more suspicious she would seem.

“To be honest, I cannot recall the name.”

“No?” asked the guard.

“It’s …” she racked her brain, trying to remember any landmarks from earlier in her wanderings, “Oh, my, this is embarrassing. It’s the one right near the citadel. I chose it because it’s where all the knights for the tourney tend to go.”

The guard scratched his stubbled chin as if deciding what to do with Chiara, “Hmmm.”

She began to panic. “Is that not … right? Perhaps I am mistaken. I came quite late today, and –”

“There are two Inns that match your description, M’Lady. But they’re on opposite sides of the quarter. I wouldn’t want to take you to the wrong one, is all.”

“Oh, well, perhaps if you said the names, it would help me remember?”

“The High Horse is where most of the nobles and visiting knights tend to stay,” he said.

Chiara thought about walking into such a place with a potato bag for a travel sack and only a silver piece to her name.

“Uhm, no, that doesn’t sound right,” she said.

“Ah,” said the guard, “Then it must be the Rising Sun.”

“Yes, that –” Chiara stopped, stunned, “The Rising Sun?”

“Yes, M’Lady, where all the knights go. Not a place I would pick for a lady such as yourself, but there is no safer place in Camelot, ‘cept maybe the Citadel. At least, until the Meade begins to flow.”

“No,” said Chiara in astonishment, “That is exactly the place for a lady like me.”

She took the guard’s arm and allowed him to lead her onward. By the time they had reached the Rising Sun, she had learned all about his family: His mother who died when the city’s water was poisoned; his sister who was now paralyzed because she fell off her horse during a sleeping sickness that overtook Camelot; and his poor father who had no one left to help him with the farm.

“I would help,” said the guard, “but with all of the trouble these days, I’m always needed here. I send money back though. Ah! Here we are!”

A wooden sign with a crudely drawn sun rising over a hillock hung above the door.

“Thank you,” said Chiara, “You are truly my knight in shining armor.”

The guard blushed, “I am no knight, just a city guard. Does the Lady need me to accompany her inside?”

“No!” Chiara cleared her throat, “No no, I couldn’t possibly take up any more of your time. Besides, I am supposed to meet Sir Klaine here, though now I am quite late. I wouldn’t want him getting the wrong impression,” said Chiara.

The guard laughed, “At this hour? Sir Klaine won’t remember any impressions he has.”

Just then, the door opened as two patrons stumbled out. The smell of alcohol and sweat poured forth along with raucous laughter and singing.

“Even better,” said Chiara, with a smile.

 

*****

The next morning, Chiara returned to the citadel to find the same two guards standing at attention. Once again, their pikes crossed as she tried to approach.

“State your business wi- oh, it’s you again,” said the first guard. “Come to sign up for the tourney?”

“Something like that,” said Chiara with a coy smile.

The guards lifted their pikes, allowing Chiara to pass.

“See?” she could hear the first guard say to the second guard, “They always tell you they can’t pay, but if you hold firm, they’ll suddenly find the gold. Nobles are more miserly than dragons,” he muttered.

At the center of the Citadel’s entry courtyard, Sir Klaine sat at a large table with two knights standing at attention on either side.

Chiara took a deep breath to steady her nerves and approached the table with a jaunty smile.

“Sir Klaine!” she said jovially, watching him wince at the volume of her words.

He looked up at her through bleary, red eyes that took their time trying to focus in on her. “You,” he said, clearly trying to place her.

“That’s right,” she grinned, “I’ve come to make sure my name was added, as you promised.”

He looked at her wearily then glanced at the guards at his sides. They were shifting nervously, not wanting to be part of any awkwardness.

“I … promised?” he asked. The red blotches on his face seemed to grow and spread with indignation, “My Lady, I am a knight of Camelot. I would _never_ promise something outside of the letter of the law and my duty to it. All participants must apply as required by the official rules of the tournament.”

Chiara let out a practiced sigh and looked pityingly at the two knights attending Sir Klaine, “Good Sir,” she said, in mock offense, “I would _never_ suggest that you’d break any such laws. That’s why you told me yesterday that you would make it a priority to see to my registration.”

“Then I will register you as the law requires. Any interested contested can register today for five gold pieces,” he said.

“That’s not what you said last night,” said Chiara.

She had thought about lying. The idea had crossed her mind to tell him that she had given him the gold pieces yesterday and that he had spent them all on drink.

But it felt wrong.

The truth was, he _had_ left early yesterday. She had a right to the early registration, but she was not going to sink so low as to lie about such a large sum. Sure, she might need to push him in the right direction, but only because he was at fault first.

Hopefully, a slight nudge would be enough.

He looked her over again. She was clearly familiar to him, but in a way that he could not recall a single thing about their prior interaction … which was good for Chiara. If he did remember her, all he’d remember was her buying him drinks and singing tavern songs with him until he passed out by the Rising Sun’s roaring hearth fire.

“I … don’t recall any such conversation,” he said, more hesitantly this time.

“No? That’s strange. You said yourself, ‘a Knight of Camelot must follow all of the letters of the law,’ such as waiting until the sun sets before ceasing the day’s registration. Perhaps you were too focused on the _Rising Sun_ and the gold to be gained …”

Sir Klaine’s attending knights had stopped shifting, hoping that stillness would make them invisible.

Sir Klaine gave Chiara a hard stare, which she returned with as much haughty noble confidence as she could muster.

 He reached out a giant hand and slammed it down on his leather-bound ledger, pulling it toward him slowly. Each movement seemed pronounced to show his distaste. Sir Klaine flipped open the book to the registrant page for the prior day. With a flourish, he plucked his quill pen out of an ink pot.

“Name,” he snarled.

  
“Lady Chiara,” she said.

“House?”

“Sorrell,” she said.

“Lady Chiara of House Sorrell, you are hereby registered to participate in the Tournament of Knights. By making your mark next to your name in this ledger, you and all of House … Sorrell … acknowledge your free consent to participate in this event. In no way shall House … Sorrell … take up arms against Camelot for any perceived injustice or wrongdoing that results from the execution of this tournament in accordance with the laws and honors of Albion. Is that understood?”

Chiara took the quill from Sir Klaine’s outreached hand, “I … think so?” she said, marking the Sorrell house seal next to her name. As she did so, the mark seemed to harden as if binding itself to the page.

She stared at the signature she had made. It reminded her of home. A thought clawed at the back of her brain, but she could not bring it to the forefront. 

She shook herself back to attention as she felt Sir Klaine rip the quill from her hand.

_Of course it reminds you of home_ , she thought, _it’s your home seal!_

Sir Klaine slammed the ledger shut, “You are now registered. In five days’ time, you must be at this square when the trumpet signals the start of the day or you will be disqualified. You must have all required items in accordance with the rules of the tournament with you or you will be disqualified.”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘required items’?”

Sir Klaine did not respond. Instead, he swept his hand to the side where a large scroll hung from a stanchion next to him.

Chiara realized his patience with her was at an end. She excused herself with a nod and marched to the scroll to read the print.

 

_Tournament of Knights_

_Are you of noble blood? Are you at or beyond your 18 th year? Do you believe you have what it takes to become a Knight of Camelot? Then register to partake in the Tournament of Knights! Pass the three tests. Survive the Prince’s Duel. Accept the King’s Challenge. Become a Knight-in-Training._

_All participants will need:_

_A helmet_   
_A shield_   
_A sword_   
_A tunic_   
_A horse_

_Early Registration is FREE. Cost of competing is 5 gold pieces for any registrant beyond the 6 th day. _

Chiara stepped back from the scroll. She had five days to get the gear she needed and learn everything she could about the tournament.

Five days … and one silver piece to her name.  But, she thought, that was one more silver piece than she had the day before.

Maybe she _could_ pull this off.

With her initial mission accomplished, Chiara let herself relax for the first time and take in the beauty of the castle. It was hard to believe that, if she survived the tournament, she could be a knight-in-training here and experience this every day.

Movement in one of the castle’s upper windows caught her eye. She could just make out a woman staring down at her. Chiara smiled and waved, her smile fading as the figure disappeared from the window.

“Don’t bother with that one,” said a voice behind her.

Chiara turned to see a tall, gangly boy standing there. ‘Boy’ was perhaps the wrong word for him, though he was not yet a man either. He wore a red shirt tucked haphazardly into his trousers and a leather vest that was a size too big on him. He seemed quite at ease on the castle grounds, as did the guards at his presence.

“Why not?” asked Chiara, glancing from him to the window once more.

“She hasn’t quite been the same since she returned.”

“Returned? From where?”

He hesitated as if trying to decide what to tell her, “She was kidnapped almost a year ago. The King’s had all of his men out looking for her, but no luck. Only by chance, Prince Arthur and I happened upon her a few days ago, lost in the woods.”

“How awful,” said Chiara.

He made a strange face that Chiara could not interpret. “Lady Morgana tends to bring trouble with her wherever she goes. … And now she’s back,” he said, adding, with a look of panic, “Please don’t tell anyone I said that!”

“Who would I tell?” said Chiara with a laugh. “Some of us are not as connected as you appear to be, Sir …”

“Merlin,” he said.

“Sir Merlin,” she repeated.

It was his turn to laugh.

“Just Merlin.”


	19. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana (Lena) plots as Chiara (Kara) seems to be living out every fantasy game ever. 
> 
> (This is loosely set where Merlin season 2 ends and 3 begins. You don't need to know the show, and I try to give enough detail to fill you in, but it has some spoilers as a result, mostly regarding Morgana's story-line).

Was it worth it?

Morgana stared at her reflection in the mirror. The year in the woods had hardened her. The soft curve of her face had become more angular, her cheekbones and jaw more pronounced. Her green eyes used to sparkle with joy but now there was something more sinister in them, like a dark forest daring only the bravest to enter. Her hair seemed blacker. Her skin paler. As much as she tried to mask her true feelings, when that mask slipped, the darkness in her countenance revealed itself instantly and intensely.

It was not only physically that she had changed. 

A year ago, she lived in complete fear. When she had first discovered her magical abilities, she was convinced Uthor would find out and put her to death just as he had done with all other magical creatures since the fateful purge of his twenty years prior. Or perhaps he’d lock her away, as he did with all magical objects. As his ward, she still was not sure which he considered her to be: a person or an object.

A year ago, she had also lived with such fervent hope. She had hoped Uthor could change his ways and learn to embrace magic. She had hoped to bring her own powers under control. She had hoped that her friends would help and support her throughout her journey of self-discovery.

She had been a fool.

Her magic was not to be feared, at least, not by her. It was meant to be embraced, learned, cultivated, and grown into an unimaginable force.  Why else would she have been given such a gift?

And so what if Uthor came after her? She had feared him when she believed him to be stronger, but she knew now that her powers could never be held back by such a man. And now, he was not the only one with an army at his beck and call. King Cenred, in his kingdom to the east, stood ready to march west and support her when the time came. Besides, Uthor would never change. His hatred of magic had only grown, which, to Morgana, meant that his hatred of her had grown too. How many innocent magical beings had died at his hand or had to hide their true nature because of his intolerance?

Then there was the issue of her supposed friends. Arthur, who always wanted to protect her but never wanted to respect her as an equal. Gwen, who looked upon her with such pity and trepidation, like a spectator watching a caged animal. And Merlin. The name alone practically made Morgana’s lips curl back in rage and disgust. She had confided in him, shared her most intimate secret about her magical abilities, and begged him to help her. And what did he do? He betrayed her, poisoned her, and then sent her off to her fate.

And now, a year later, she was back. For revenge.

No. Not revenge.

Justice.

Uthor needed to pay for his crimes against magical beings. Arthur needed to be taught a lesson about which sex was truly superior. Gwen needed to remember where her loyalties lie. And Merlin …

Merlin needed to die.

All, of course, after begging for her forgiveness.

So, was it worth it?

Was it worth playing the weakling? Was it worth swallowing her pride and pretending that all was forgiven? Was it worth compromising everything she believed in?

Yes.

Because when she was finished, all would know her, respect her, and, if need be, fear her. She was going to usher in a new age for Camelot, whether Camelot was ready for it or not.

But, for now, she was late.

Morgana grabbed her cloak, wrapping it around herself with a practiced twirl.

 Ever since she had returned, Uthor had not given her a moment’s peace. Between her servant Gwen, and his own guards, she was constantly monitored. Fortunately, she had finally convinced the court healer and herbalist, Gaius, to insist that Uthor give her space to rest.

Gaius.

The poor old fool. She had once begged him to help her with her dreams. The dreams that kept coming true. The dreams that haunted her night after night, awakening her in a frenzied fit of tangled blankets and cold sweat, and, even once, burning flame. And what did he do? He gave her sleeping draughts and empty words. Save me from my dreams, she had practically begged. Instead, he had condemned her to them.

But tonight, his draught had proven itself useful.

 Morgana pulled up the hood of her cloak and opened her chamber door. She took one last lingering look back at her bed, where Gwen lay fast asleep under her sheets.  Gwen was the only servant due to check in on her tonight, but she wouldn’t wake for hours, not with the sleeping draught coursing through her veins. And if anyone did check in on her, they would see Gwen’s sleeping form and not dare to think twice about who was occupying Morgana’s bed. 

Morgana slipped into the hallway and closed the door softly behind her. She would need to sneak out of the castle and join the masses of merchants and castle servants on their evening exodus to the lower quarters. From there, she could cross the drawbridge and be out of Camelot before the gates were closed for the evening. Getting out was the easy part. Getting back in would be more difficult, but it wasn’t Morgana’s first time navigating the secret passageways under the city or scaling the castle walls.

*****

Except for a close call with a guard at the Citadel gate and a merchant who mistook her for a customer, Morgana’s escape from Camelot met with little resistance.

She felt giddy. But it wasn’t happiness:  it was … anticipation.

In two days, the Tournament of Knights would commence, and so would her plan.

No, not her plan.

Her sister’s plan.

_Morgause_.

Morgana could feel the scowl settling on her face.

Did Merlin know?

He knew Morgause was alive, which was more than Uthor knew. He had thought her dead many years ago, and so had Morgana until her sister had returned under a false name to challenge Arthur to a duel. She had revealed herself then to Morgana, not only as a sister, but as the only one who was willing and able to help her control her dreams … her magic.

But in return for her help, Morgause had also used her sister for her own ambitions. A year ago, she had cast a spell on an unsuspecting Morgana, turning her into a walking carrier for a sleeping sickness. Everywhere Morgana went, the spell spread like the plague, knocking out anyone in its path. Morgause had intended to kill Uthor while the city’s defenses slept, but she had not counted on Merlin uncovering the spell and the means to destroy it: killing Morgana. Morgause had pleaded with Merlin to let her take a dying Morgana to the only place that could save her. Knowing it was between that and the death of the king, he had agreed, and they had left. 

So did he know? Did he know that she had spent the past year with Morgause, learning the ways of ancient magic and the Old Religion? Did he know how powerful she had become? Did he know why she was back?

Or did he believe her story of being kidnapped by bandits and escaping when they let their guard down? He had certainly been easy to convince when she had told him that she forgave him for poisoning her. He had seemed so relieved when she said that she now understood the terrible consequences of magic.

The funny thing about Merlin was that he often ignored what he knew in favor of what he wanted to believe. And Merlin always wanted to believe that people were inherently good.

So, did he know?

Maybe.

But it didn’t matter. Not unless he tried to get in her way.

Morgana let out a deep laugh, feeling her powers crackling awake inside her. Her laughter echoed back to her in the caw of a raven, waiting on the edge of the woods.

A year ago, such a forest would have made Morgana’s heart race with fear. Now, she felt the warmth of returning home. The warmth Camelot no longer provided.

Morgause would be waiting for her by the forked creek bed, beyond the wailing cave. It was there that the hemlock grew thickest.

Is that where Merlin had gone to get the hemlock he had used to poison her? No, probably not. He probably plucked it from the roadside. Lazy boy. She deserved better, even in an attempt on her life. And he did not deserve the thought and care she was going to put into her plans to end his.

Morgana’s insides were practically bubbling. She could almost hear the death rattle escape Merlin’s lungs. She could see the look in his eye when he realized what she had done.  And the king? Would he shed a tear for the Prince’s servant?

She hoped so. She needed those tears. The spell wouldn’t work without them.

Oh glory! Oh vengeance! Oh-

“EXCUSE ME!”

A blur shot by Morgana.

“Watch it!” she cried.

The blur slowed, regaining human shape.

“Sorry! I almost had him!”

Morgana opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t know where to begin. Of all the creatures she expected to encounter in the woods, she had not planned on this. The forest was for bandits and rogues, secret lovers, and terrible beasts, not barefoot women in boy’s trousers, spattered with mud up to their knees. Was she a druid? Her arms were bright red as if tattooed to the elbows, and her hair was full of down feathers.

“Had who?” asked Morgana, finding her voice.

“The golden bird!” said the strange woman. “Have you seen him?”

“I can’t say that I have,” said Morgana, glancing around to see if the woman had company.

 “Oh well,” she shrugged. There was no disappointment in her voice. In fact, she sounded quite amused. “I guess I need to go back to the farm and keep practicing.” She grinned at the prospect.

Morgana arched an eyebrow.

The woman tilted her head, the new angle allowing her to see under Morgana’s hood. “Hey!” she said, excitedly, “Do I know you?”

“No! You don’t!” said Morgana with a flood of panic, pulling her hood tighter. The encounter had been a mild inconvenience, and perhaps a slight amusement, but now it was becoming a threat.

“Huh. You sure? You look familiar.”

“I think I would remember,” said Morgana.

The woman shrugged, “Fair point. I’ve met so many people in Camelot these few days I’ve been here that I’m having trouble remembering them all. I’m Lady Chiara of the House Sorrell. And you are?”

Morgana’s mind raced. She couldn’t use her real name. Everyone knew Morgana was the King’s ward, and there were no others by that name in all of Camelot. “Vivienne,” she blurted. It had been her mother’s name.

“Nice to meet you, Lady Vivienne.”

“Just Vivienne. I am no lady,” said Morgana, giving the slightest of curtsies, as such a formality was normally expected by nobility from anyone of a lower class. Morgana could not bring herself to show true respect for this strange woman, but the Lady Chiara didn’t seem to notice.

“So you’re not from around here?” asked Morgana.

If the woman were a visitor that would mean fewer people would come looking for her if she were to … vanish. The fact that she was nobility might be a problem though. If nobility went missing, their House would usually raise an alert. That is, if she were actually nobility and not some escaped farmer’s daughter who had been kicked in the head by a mule and lost her mind.

“No, I’m here to take part in the tournament.”

Morgana did a double take. She could not hide the look of judgment and surprise that passed over her face.  There had been one woman who registered for the tournament. Morgana remembered watching her from the window. But that woman had been dressed in the modest travel refinery of a noble and had comported herself as such. This woman… this woman looked like she had escaped some sort of punishment, like a tar and feathering or magical sacrifice. Except she seemed _happy_ about it.

“You want to be a Knight of Camelot?” asked Morgana.

“I do!” said the woman, proudly.

Morgana laughed. It was not the maniacal cackle she had become accustomed to, but a light and airy laugh, brought on by the absurdity of the woman standing before her. “And is this how you train?”

Chiara rubbed the back of her neck, feeling a sudden onset of embarrassment, “To be honest, I haven’t really had time to train. I’ve been trying to get together the equipment I need to compete.”

“I see,” said Morgana. “I didn’t realize a golden bird was so integral to a knight’s armory.”

“It’s not, but, uhm, I was robbed on my way here, so I don’t have any money to buy what I need.”

“So this golden bird is very valuable?” asked Morgana, intrigued.

“I don’t know, actually, but I’ve found that everyone in Camelot has something they need and are willing to trade for it. I was trading feathers for sewing supplies with a fabric merchant, and he told me the royal tailor would make me a custom outfit if I could bring him a golden bird. I guess everyone wants to wear the feathers, and I’d love to have a real tunic for the tournament … but I don’t think that’s going to happen now.”

“A pity,” said Morgana. “but perhaps the hog farmer will trade you some pigskin in exchange for all of your mud.”

“You mock me!” Chiara’s mouth dropped. “But you wouldn’t believe the past few days I’ve had!”

“You are a noble woman standing in a forest glen looking like …” Morgana gestured toward the entirety of Chiara, not having a word to describe her appearance, “and you are telling me this is the result of what? Three days in Camelot?” asked Morgana. “How does such a transformation even occur?” Morgana had thought that a year with Morgause in the wilderness had changed her, but this woman was on an entirely different level.  

“Crazy, right? First I went to the blacksmith to see about a sword, but his shoulder is in so much pain that he hasn’t been able to work, so he said he’d give me a sword if I could help with the pain. So then I went to the herbalist who said he’d make me a potion for the blacksmith, but, in return, he needed me to collect a special herb from deep in the bogs. But on my way back from getting the herb, I ran into a trader whose cart got stuck in the bog, and in exchange for helping to carry his items to market, he said I could take any of the wood that hadn’t already sunk. But when we got to the market, he realized he would need to wait a few days for a new cart to be made, and he had nowhere to house his donkey. So, I took the donkey to a farm that’s owned by the family of a guard I know, but when I got there, the miller was trying to get the farmer to lend him his plow horse’s hitch for his waterwheel because _his_ horse’s hitch broke, but the farmer needed a plow animal, so the farmer is using the donkey while the miller is using his hitch. And now the farmer is letting me sleep in his barn in exchange for helping with the chores, so I’ve been milking cows and feeding chickens, but the chickens are also great practice for catching golden birds.” Chiara let out a sharp exhale, “Whew.”

Morgana blinked rapidly, her mind trying to keep pace with the rush of words that spilled from Chiara. “And the arms?”

Chiara looked down in surprise, as if she hadn’t previously noticed that they were stained a bright red, “Oh, that! The dye shop’s red dye pot cracked, and they said they’d give me the rest of the dye if I could find them a fast replacement, so I then had to challenge the vineyard owner’s son to a grape crushing match. It took me a few times to beat him, but, when I did, he let me take his wine back to the dye shop as a quick replacement for their lost dye.”

“And all of this for a sword … and a tunic?”

“Not just those; everything I need for the tournament. I should be all set now. … Except the training part. I don’t have the money to pay one of the knights to coach me. I’ll probably be the only participant who will enter without such an advantage. The potter lets me practice smashing his deformed pots, but that doesn’t help very much. You would be surprised how many things people hide in them though …”

Morgana nodded, feigning attention to Chiara’s babbling. She had to consider her next move carefully. Morgause would have left by now; probably assuming Morgana couldn’t escape the citadel or had been caught along the way. Morgana could try to make it to the creek bed, but she couldn’t risk Chiara following her or sharing where she went. If Morgause were here, she would tell Morgana what Morgana already knew: Lady Chiara needed to disappear. After all, what would happen if she arrived at the tournament and saw that Vivienne was actually the Lady Morgana?

“So,” said Morgana, “you said you now have a sword?”

Chiara reached across her waist and removed her blade. It was a plain sword, but well made. Morgana guessed that it was one the blacksmith had made as new stock for the City Guard’s armory.

“A decent sword,” said Morgana, “But a sword isn’t worth much if you don’t know how to use it.”

“Like I said, I was hoping to have one of the knights teach me a few things before the tournament, but they don’t take me seriously.” She looked down at herself, her smile faltering for the first time, “Can you blame them?”

“Well,” said Morgana, with a wicked grin, “let _me_ show you.”

Without missing a beat, she whirled behind Chiara, brandishing the sword that was hidden beneath her own cloak.

The clang of metal against metal rang out through the trees.

Morgana hadn’t expected Chiara to be so fast. Her speed made up for her lack of skill, and with each of Morgana’s attacks, she managed to block or parry just in time.

Chiara’s sword was heavy in her hand as she tried desperately to keep up with Morgana’s furious offense. She felt clumsy, slow. She was used to hand-to-hand combat and feeling her opponent’s movements as they occurred. Morgana, however, advanced with a grace and fluidity that was as beautiful as it was deadly. The sword was like an extension of her arm.

 Chiara stumbled backwards through the trees, blocking, ducking, clambering over logs, and dodging incoming blows.

Morgana brought her sword down in a swinging arch. Her blade edge glanced off the edge of Chiara’s blade; their swords sliding together, locking at the hilt. It became a battle of strength, and, for the first time, Morgana lost the upper hand.

Chiara saw her chance. She lowered her body mass and barreled forward, propelling Morgana backward, into a tree.

Morgana let out a gasp as the air was knocked out of her lungs, and she found herself pinned between the bark and their blades.

It wasn’t over though.

Morgana had trained for this type of situation. Her years of fighting with Prince Arthur – before he had decided that she should pursue more ladylike interests – had taught her that she would never be stronger, but could always be more cunning. She pushed back, challenging Chiara to put all of her force behind her blade. And then Morgana relaxed, for just a split second, catching her opponent off guard and using Chiara’s momentum against her to push her to the side and slip past.

Chiara ricocheted off the tree.

Morgana’s foot caught on a root, and she stumbled on her side step, landing on her hands and knees.

 She lifted her head and found herself staring into a pair of yellow eyes.

Wolf eyes.

Morgana froze.

The eyes narrowed as the wolf’s snout crumpled into a snarl, barring its fangs.

It lunged.

She didn’t have time to move. She didn’t have time to think. The wolf came at her in a flash, and then, with a yelp … it was gone.

Chiara. The woman with unimaginable speed. The woman with incomprehensible bravery.

Or reckless stupidity.

She had tackled the beast out of midair. They hit the ground, and, as they did so, she ducked and rolled, letting momentum pull her back to her feet. The wolf was temporarily stunned, but it wouldn’t be for long. And it wouldn’t be alone. Wolves never were.

Without glancing back, Chiara stuck out her hand behind her, “Come on!” she shouted.

Morgana reached up and grasped Chiara’s hand.

Chiara took off running, hoisting Morgana to her feet in the process and dragging her along.

Morgana could hear the branches whizzing past them and the underbrush snapping under their feet.

But not just their feet.

 The pack was moving through the trees, surrounding them.

Or was it?

The blood was so loud in her ears that Morgana wasn’t sure. Her vision was narrowing too, and she couldn’t tell if the dark shadows in the corner of her eyes were charging her or tricks of the adrenaline flooding her body.

Morgana’s limbs felt like rubber; only Chiara’s hand kept her from falling.

They ran.

They ran with every ounce of energy they had left. Morgana was ready to give up when the howling started. It was right beside them. And then it was behind them. And soon it was a wild cacophony all around them. She may have joined in with her own haunted screams, but she wasn’t sure. She was no longer in control of her mind or body.

Morgana didn’t look back. But she felt it. She felt the beast behind her. Chiara must have felt it too because she gave Morgana’s hand a tug, pulling her forward just in time to avoid a snapping jaw closing around Morgana’s heel.

With that final tug they burst forth from the woods and into a field. The darkness of the forest gave way to a blue evening light.

Chiara kept running, willing Morgana forward, but they would never make it. The wolves were faster. They would have the advantage.

Morgana wrenched her hand free as a single thought entered her head. She whirled around, ignoring the cries of protest from Lady Chiara.

Morgana did not know what words she uttered, but her chants grew louder as large blue flames shot up like a wall along the forest’s edge. Behind the flames, shadows paced. The wolves had hung back, prowling the tree line, looking for a way through, but not daring to test their luck against the magical fire.

With the immediate danger having passed, Morgana doubled over, gasping for breath. She tried to take a step forward but ended up on her knees. Her muscles were screaming for oxygen that the sprinting had taken from them.

 Chiara fell backward, sprawling out in the grass, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

They didn’t speak. Neither had the ability. Slowly, Chiara’s breathing slowed, and Morgana began to regain feeling in her legs. They had survived. All of the remaining adrenaline in their bodies spilled out of them in the form of laughter. After a few minutes, their laughter faded into silence as fatigue hit them. They stood and faced each other, neither knowing what to say.

Chiara finally broke the silence, “Vivienne … that was …” She was looking at the blue flames, giving off their eerie glow.

Morgana closed her eyes. She had done the unthinkable. A full year she had spent preparing for her return to Camelot, and it could all be ruined because of a woman who wanted to chase a golden chicken or whatever it was. There was no way she could let Chiara live now.  Her hand gravitated toward her sword.

It was gone.

The empty scabbard hung loosely at her side. She must have let go of it when Chiara had pulled her to her feet.

No matter. 

She didn’t need a sword to end a life. The realization made her stand a little straighter. Magic was a part of her, but she had spent so long denying it that it still felt strange to embrace her abilities.  She began flicking through spells in her mind.

“Yes,” she practically growled, “that was magic.” Her eyes flared as she settled on the perfect spell.

 “Yes, and it was … amazing,” said Chiara in pure awe.

Morgana had begun uttering the first incantation under her breath when the comprehension of Chiara’s words sunk in.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“That was amazing!  You just saved our lives! You just … there was nothing … and then … then there was this wall … _that_ wall” she gestured excitedly toward the flames, “Is it burning? Is it _real_ fire?”

“ … Real enough to keep the wolves back for now,” said Morgana, slowly, “but it will not spread. The woods will not be harmed.”

Chiara stared at Morgana, her mouth agape in pure reverence, “You’re … wow. You’re just _wow._ ”

Morgana wasn’t sure what to do. “The king doesn’t seem to think so. He’d kill me for this,” she said bitterly.

“That’s absurd!” said Chiara.

“Tell me about it.”

Chiara was silent for a moment, studying Morgana closely. She was beautiful in a cold sort of way, like a field of fresh fallen snow under a full moon.

 “We should go, then,” said Chiara, suddenly.

“What?” Morgana looked up, startled.

“We should go. For one thing, those wolves might grow bolder, but also, if that’s true, we can’t have anyone seeing us here.”

 For someone she had just met, Morgana was surprised at the genuine concern in Chiara’s voice.

“Answer me this,” said Morgana, “does it matter?”

It was Chiara’s turn to be confused, “What?”

 “I’m asking … how badly do you want to be a knight?”

 Chiara’s brow furrowed. “No …” she turned her head as if doing so would help reveal the true meaning of Morgana’s words, “you’re asking me whether I’d expose you for magic if I thought it would get me knighthood,” said Chiara.

“Yes,” said Morgana. “That’s exactly what I’m asking.”

Chiara grimaced in disgust, “Never!”

“No?” Morgana asked, challengingly.

“No one deserves to die just because of something they were born with! Magic doesn’t make a person evil. How you choose to use your gifts – how any of us chooses to use our advantages – that’s how we should be judged. That’s what defines us! You just saved our lives without hurting a single soul. And you think I would condemn you for that? ” Chiara’s voice broke under the weight of her passion.

Morgana didn’t know what to say. She locked eyes with Chiara, and was startled to find her own defiance reflected in Chiara’s eyes.

Could she really mean that? Morgana knew better than to hope. Hope was for the foolish.

“The Knights of Camelot are sworn to uphold the laws of the land. If Uthor says that all magic must be destroyed then – “

“Then I don’t want to be a knight,” said Chiara. “At least, not one of his.”

Morgana was speechless. This woman had traveled all the way here and spent the last few days making a fool of herself to chase a dream, and, in an instant, she was willing to give it all away?

“There are no other knights but his here in Camelot. And you won’t find as much gold or glory in any other kingdom,” said Morgana.

“I don’t want gold! Or glory!” Chiara paused, “… I mean, some gold would be nice, look at me,” she laughed, her laughter turning into a warm smile at the sight of Morgana’s lips twitching upward as well. Her voice came gentler, “I want to be a knight because I want to fight for truth and justice and all that is good and righteous in this world. If you’re telling me that I would have to – to persecute the innocent because of someone’s ignorance or fear, could I really be a true knight?”

“That’s the _only_ way to be a knight here,” said Morgana.

“Then I don’t want it,” said Chiara.

“So, just like that, you’re not going to do the tournament now?”

“Who am I kidding?” said Chiara, dejected, “I’ve got two days, no teacher, and even if I did succeed, I don’t think I could ever swear myself to someone who – uhm – to such a king.”

Morgana looked at Chiara’s muddy feet and her red arms and her hopeful eyes. A year ago, she never would have associated with someone so … strange.

But it wasn’t a year ago.

And this Lady Chiara had just condemned herself to Morgana’s fate. Did she realize it? Morgana had admitted her magical abilities, and If Chiara didn’t report her, then she was a conspirator. And by the time she discovered Morgana’s true identity, it would be too late: If Morgana were to be punished for magic, Chiara would be punished doubly as an insolent traitor. 

 Morgana snorted, “You’re very naïve, Lady Chiara.”

“Because I believe in good?”

“Because you believe in the goodness of others. Or that goodness will get you anywhere in this world.”

Chiara frowned, “Maybe …  but if I can’t find it in others, then that just means I need to try even harder to be the one who shows the way… and proves that it _is_ the way to get somewhere.”

Morgana shook her head, “And where will it get you if not to that knighthood?”

“Well, currently it’s gotten me to a new adventure and … possibly a new friend?” said Chiara, though it was more of a question.

Morgana’s face cycled through a thousand expressions, unable to find one appropriate for her feelings. … Perhaps because she did not know what she was feeling.

“I could train you,” she said. Morgana looked around suddenly, trying to find the source of the voice before realizing it was her own.

“What?”

“I think you _should_ compete in the tournament. And … and I could train you.”

Chiara threw her hands up in bewilderment, “After all you just said about what the Knights of Camelot do?! Why would I _ever_ want to?”

Morgana thought for a moment, “To prove you could.” Before she realized what she was doing, she grasped a startled Chiara’s hand, “You said you want to be a beacon for truth and light and justice?”

“Yes! I do! But that’s clearly not what these knights are about. At least, not anymore!” She should have known it when she had met Sir Klaine, but she had been too focused on her dream to see the reality sitting so plainly, and hungover, in front of her eyes.

“Exactly!”

“You’ve lost me. You want me to take part in the tournament because I _don’t_ want to be a knight?” asked Chiara.

“Listen! Pass the tests! Show that you are capable. Prove that a woman knight deserves just as much respect as her male counterparts. And when the King offers you a seat at his table, refuse him. Let your voice be heard. Do it for those of us whose voices have been silenced.” Morgana bit her lip, trying to stem the flood of words pouring forth.

Morgause had a plan. A plan to kill Merlin. A plan to make Uthor pay for his crimes. And that plan made Morgana feel powerful. Strong. But this plan? Subversion through righteousness. Standing for the persecuted. Showing that good could not be bought nor was it bestowed by titles. It made her feel … hopeful. _Valiant_.

If she did this, it would mean going against her sister, who was the closest thing Morgana had to someone who was loyal to her. And yet, Morgause had used Morgana. She _continued_ to use Morgana.

This Lady Chiara did not know Morgana, but she believed in her goodness. She was a fool, surely, because all of Morgana’s goodness had been poisoned a year ago. But still, this woman she had just met cared more truly, more deeply about her than anyone else in her life.

She weighed her options. If Morgana used magic to fight for her cause, Uthor would never listen. He would feel justified in his persecution. She could overtake him, but her message would be lost, and what she wanted most of all was for him to hear her and admit his wrongs. Morgause had told her that overpowering him was the only way. And maybe she was right. Or maybe, she was using Morgana’s pain for her own ambition.

Chiara’s only ambition was to do good. A terrible ambition, truly, as history always showed that those who stand above the rest are pulled down by the insecurity and jealousy of the very people they want to help. Still, they do make the best martyrs, and every cause needs a martyr.

 “Do you think I could do it?” asked Chiara. “Truly, do you think I could pass?”

“From what I’ve seen tonight, I know you could. With my help, of course.”

Chiara turned her gaze from Morgana to the blue flames to the lights of Camelot in the distance. She nodded, slowly, “Then, when do we start?”

“Right now,” said Morgana.

The rest of the walk back to Camelot was a haze. Morgana shared everything she could about the different trials to her eager student. Chiara listened. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and by the time they went their separate ways, Morgana felt giddy. Was it the anticipation of enacting her new plan? Or was it the thought of spending two days with this woman who had entered her life so quickly and had already changed it? Could she be … dare she say it? Happy?


	20. Train-wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana (Lena) realizes that she has her work cut out for her in training Chiara (Kara).
> 
> (Minor spoiler for Merlin regarding Morgana's background).

Chiara was waiting at the field in her tournament gear.  Her stomach had been in knots all morning, and it felt like rats were gnawing away at her insides. Was she nervous about training or was it the thought of seeing Vivienne again? Under the glow of the moonlight, she had emerged like a beautiful enchantress. Chiara looked down at her own attire and felt a pang of self-consciousness.  

She wanted to be proud of herself.

She had worked hard and used all of her ingenuity to prepare for the tournament, but she knew how she must look. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that the other nobles would judge her for something outside of her control. If they had been through what she had, they would have tucked their tail between their legs and fled home. She had stayed. She was prepared to fight. She just needed them to look past her appearance.

Vivienne was going to be so disappointed. Her knight in shining armor was instead a knight in –

“This is a jest, right?”

Chiara turned to see Morgana approaching astride a tall, black palfrey. She wore black riding trousers and a grey wool shirt that was cinched at the waist by a leather corset. A simple green cloak hung from her shoulders, and her black tresses were piled on her head in a messy bun. She was even more beautiful than Chiara had remembered.

Chiara realized she was staring and shook herself from her reverie.

 “It was the best I could do,” she said.

 “I don’t believe this,” muttered Morgana. She had hoped that Chiara was not as strange as she had first appeared, but instead, she was worse. She looked like she was preparing to step onto a stage in the starring role as the fool. “Do you _want_ to be taken seriously or were secretly hoping for a position as the court jester?”

“I tried,” Chiara said. She had. She had done the best she could. And it hurt that her effort was mocked.

Morgana leaned over in her saddle, inspecting Chiara. Morgana’s horse was at least three hands taller, forcing Chiara to look up at her.

“Is that a _milk pail_?” Morgana asked.

“In a past life. Now, it’s a helmet,” said Chiara.

Morgana snorted. “And what is your tunic made of?” She reached over and felt the fabric between her fingers, pulling her hand back in disgust as the red dye stained the pads of her index finger and thumb.

“… potato … sack …” mumbled Chiara.

“Potato sack?!”

“It was slightly torn, but I sewed it back together.”

“Yes, of course, we couldn’t have you wearing a _torn_ potato sack to the tournament. What would the people think?”

“Hey! I didn’t have a lot of options!”

“And your horse!”

“I KNOW! OKAY!?”

“I could work with a rouncey, but … a draught horse?”

Chiara stroked her small brown horse, reassuringly, as if concerned that it would be hurt by Morgana’s derision.

“It’s not even yours, is it?”

“No …” Chiara looked away, embarrassed.

“This is the farmer’s plow horse, isn’t it?”

“… Yes …”

“So what were you going to do if you were selected for knight training? Hitch a ride into battle?”

“I’m doing the best I can!” cried Chiara.

“Where’s your shield?”

“Uhm …”

“Do I want to know?”

“It’s a little too big for me to use while on Winn …”

“On _what_?”

“Winn.”

Morgana shot Chiara a look of frustrated confusion.

“Winn,” said Chiara, patting her horse again. “That’s what I’ve named him, since the farmer just called him ‘Horse.’”

“God help us all,” said Morgana. “So where is it?”

“My shield?”

“No! Your mind! That’s clearly what we need to find!” snapped Morgana. She sighed, “Yes, your shield.”

Chiara pointed to a large wooden circle leaning against a tree.

“It’s not,” said Lena.

“It is?” said Chiara.

“That’s a wagon wheel.”

“I repurposed it.”

“When I was five,” said Morgana, “I played make believe. I would dress up as a knight or a queen or even a dragon, and you know what?”

“What?” mumbled Chiara.

“At five years old, I could outfit myself better than this!”

Morgana threw her head back, annoyed. This is what she got for believing in goodness and chivalry and this woman who wanted to save the day. Clearly, she was crazy, and Morgana had wasted precious time believing in her. She squeezed the bridge of her nose between her fingers and sighed, “I’m sorry. I thought I could help you, but this isn’t going to work.”

She took her hand away and rested it on her sword hilt. She now had to decide what to do with the Lady Chiara. Part of her pitied the woman who was staring dejectedly at her horse. Even the horse looked downcast.

Perhaps Morgana could have been gentler with her ridicule.

She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts. She was prepared to kill a man she had known for years and take over a kingdom, but she felt bad about telling this delusional woman she had just met that she was, in fact, delusional?

“I’m sorry,” said Chiara, unable to look Morgana in the face, “I tried. I _really_ tried. I guess I thought that if I could just get into the tournament, I could show them what I was truly worth. I’m sorry to let you down. I really wanted to stand up for you. And for myself.”

Morgana shifted in her saddle, realizing at that moment that a saddle was something Chiara was also lacking. She couldn’t believe what she was about to do. Had she learned nothing in the past year?

“I can’t fix the horse situation,” she said, knowing that any horse she gave Chiara would immediately be recognized as one from the royal stables “but I may be able to help with the rest.”

Chiara looked up, her gloomy expression turning suddenly buoyantly optimistic, “Really?”

“My father … I might have some of his old training gear,” said Morgana.

“And he wouldn’t mind?”

“He’s … dead.  Another casualty of the king,” she said, bitterly.

“Because he was … magical?”

“No,” growled Morgana, “Because he was trusting.”

Chiara started to say something, but Morgana cut her off.

“Anyway,” said Morgana, “how do you expect to ride that horse without a saddle? Are you that skilled?”

“Uhm,” the distressed look returned to Chiara’s face, “the opposite actually. I’ve only ridden a horse once or twice before.”

Morgana opened her mouth to say something and decided there was no point. She shrugged, resigned. “Alright, well, the goal is to stay on.” She pulled out her sword and thwacked the plow horse across its hind quarters.

She had expected it to take off at a gallop as most riding horses would do. Instead, it let out a tired bray and trundled into motion.

“WHAAAA” said Chiara, wrapping her arms around its neck as the plow horse shambled forward.

They spent the morning like that; Morgana trying her best to edge the plow horse into something more than a steady plod as Chiara held on for dear life.

Deep down, Morgana knew it would make a ridiculous scene for anyone watching, but the truth was, once she got over her initial disgust and dismay, she began having too much fun to care.

After all, if this plan didn’t work, she could always just poison everyone.


	21. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana (Lena) realizes that Chiara (Kara) isn't as innocent as she seems.

By the time Morgana returned to the castle, she was exhausted but exhilarated.

Despite Chiara’s appearance, she proved herself to be quite competent and capable. There was no telling how good she could be as a knight if she were given the opportunity and the proper training. Not that she wanted the knighthood anymore. At least, not at the price she would have to pay.

Morgana strode through the royal stables and out into the courtyard, lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t hear the voices until it was too late. She turned the corner and barreled straight into Merlin.

“Lady Morgana!” he stammered, stooping to pick up Arthur’s training armor which he had dropped upon their collision. “I’m sorry! I should have been paying more attention! Are you alright?”

Arthur stood next to his servant, watching him fumble with the armor, “Ah Merlin, when will you ever cease to disappoint?” he said with a roll of his eyes.  

He turned to Morgana, “Where have you been?”

“I –“

Arthur didn’t let her finish. He burst out laughing. Merlin straightened, his arms now full of Arthur’s gear. He looked at Arthur and then turned to Morgana, biting his lip to hide a smile.

“What? Why are you laughing?” She snapped.

She turned and strode over to one of the castle windows. As she left, she heard Merlin begin to laugh too, unable to contain himself any longer. In the pane of crude glass, she could just make out her distorted reflection.

She let out a howl of rage.

Her face was covered in red smudges. She looked down at her fingers, piecing together what had happened. The dye from Chiara’s makeshift tunic that had gotten on her fingers must have transferred to her face every time she touched it throughout the day.

And Chiara had said nothing.

She wanted to be mad. After all, she hated being humiliated by Arthur.  And the thought of Merlin laughing at her drove her insane.

instead, she couldn’t help but wonder how Chiara had managed to keep a straight face. The entire day, as Morgana had criticized her and corrected her, made her suffer and struggle, had Chiara been enacting a secret revenge all while playing the dutiful student?

Make no mistake, Morgana would _get_ payback for this. Maybe push Chiara from her horse into the pigsty. Or give her an extra special flaying during their next sword fight.

But … what did this mean?

There was more to Chiara than met the eye; Morgana had learned that lesson today. But had she been too polite to say anything … or was Lady Chiara less innocent than she led others to believe?  

Morgana had a feeling it was the latter.

And it made her stomach flutter.


	22. Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana (Lena) and Chiara (Kara) unwind after training.

Morgana collapsed onto the bed of hay. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard. She let out an eek as Chiara landed next to her with a “whompf.”

They turned their heads toward each other. Chiara was grinning from ear to ear. Despite her best efforts, Morgana’s cheeks hurt from their own smile. She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled so much; her facial muscles were not used to the effort.

Chiara reached out and plucked a feather from Morgana’s hair, “And how many chickens was that for _you_ , Lady Vivienne?”

Over the past two days, Chiara had taken to calling Morgana “lady” as a teasing form of respect for her role as Chiara’s teacher.

“I _would_ have had one if _someone_ hadn’t sabotaged my efforts,” said Morgana, defensively. She hated to lose, even in something as ridiculous as chicken wrangling.

“Just admit: it’s harder than you thought.”

Morgana sat up, throwing a handful of hay at Chiara, “Never. It’s just that some of us don’t have as much time to waste as you nobles on such _frivolous_ past times.”

Chiara sat up too. She crinkled her nose at Morgana’s jibe. “Jealousy is unbecoming on you, Lady Vivienne.” She swatted Morgana playfully with a long piece of straw.

Morgana grasped Chiara’s wrist, wrenching the straw from her hand, “Be quiet or I’ll turn _you_ into a chicken,” she said, whapping Chiara on the head.

Chiara shrugged, “That might be to my benefit. If you can’t catch me, you can’t beat me in a sword fight,” she laughed.  Two days was not adequate time to master any skill, but Morgana had been a patient teacher, showing Chiara enough of the basics to build some confidence, and then crushing her in their duels to preserve her humility. The point of the tournament was not, after all, to be the best, but to prove that she had the ability to become the best.

Morgana’s jaw dropped at the insult, “I don’t need my sword to beat you,” she said, tackling Chiara back down into the hay.

Chiara was so busy howling with laughter that she didn’t even realize she had reflexively maneuvered out of the tackle, pinning Morgana beneath her.

She stopped laughing suddenly when she realized Morgana had gone quiet. A silence descended, broken only by the soft cluck of the chickens.

Morgana bit her lip. Chiara had her by the wrists, her hands pinned above her head. She tried shifting her legs, realizing that they too were helplessly locked under Chiara’s straddling leg hold. 

They stared at each other. They had been inseparable these past two days, and when she was not covered in mud and dye, Chiara had a radiant beauty that made Morgana’s heart ache.

Chiara’s mind went blank, as all of her brainpower redirected itself to processing the sensations she was feeling. The twitch of the tendons in Morgana’s wrists as she clenched and flexed her hands. The softness and strength of her thighs, pressing into the back of Chiara’s legs. The rise and fall of her chest, pushing into Chiara’s and then pulling away.

Chiara lowered her head, hesitantly, her lips hovering uncertainly over Morgana’s.

She felt Morgana’s entire body straining upwards into her own as Morgana lifted her head to close the distance between their lips.

Morgana let out a low moan, as Chiara pressed her body back down into the hay. She had never felt so helpless, and it scared her how much it exhilarated her.  She took Chiara’s lower lip between her teeth, running her tongue lightly across it as her teeth simultaneously grazed it. Chiara’s body shuddered in delight, which caused Morgana to smile with wicked delight between each kiss. Maybe she wasn’t as powerless as she thought.

Morgana’s lips parted wider, begging Chiara to taste her mouth. Chiara’s hips began to rock rhythmically again Morgana’s, their sword hilts clinking in time. Her hands left their grip on Morgana’s wrists and began to glide down her arms.

Morgana’s flesh quivered under Chiara’s touch. She gasped softly as one of Chiara’s hands brushed delicately against her rib cage while the other settled just under her shirt in the groove between her stomach and hip.

No longer restrained by Chiara’s grasp, Morgana’s arms felt too free. She reached even farther behind her, trying to find something to grasp. Her hands found a hold and closed firmly around it.

There was a mighty squawk.

Morgana let out a shriek as she brought her hands forward, hurtling the object between them directly into Chiara’s head.

Chiara fell backward with a yelp, her arms waving wildly against the onrush of feathers beating against her face.

Morgana sprang forward, pushing the chicken off of Chiara. She took Chiara’s face between her hands, checking her frantically for any signs of injury. “I am – I am so sorry. Are you alright?” her voice shook with both laughter and dismay.

Chiara sat stunned, her mouth agape in a stupefied grin but her brow furrowed as if about to cry.

“Oh, come here,” said Morgana, pulling her close.

Chiara wrapped her arms around Morgana, burying her face into her neck.

Morgana could feel the vibrations of Chiara’s body as she wept and laughed despairingly.  Morgana’s own body began to shake as she fought to keep down a wave of laughter. Her mind kept replaying the scene: the sudden squawk. The projectile chicken. The look of pure surprise and panic on Chiara’s face. The maelstrom of wings and flying feathers. It was too much. Her laughter billowed out of her in unstoppable peals.

Chiara wrapped her arms more tightly around Morgana, pushing her backward. Morgana responded by wrapping her legs around Chiara. The two of them rolled across the hay.

Morgana found herself once again beneath Chiara, but, this time, Chiara’s arms were pinned under Morgana’s back. Chiara looked down at her, she puffed out her cheeks indignantly, but the look gave way to an incredulous smile.

Morgana grinned back, “See? I got one after all.”

Chiara shook her head, “You’ll be the death of me, woman.”

Morgana’s smile faded slightly. She didn’t want Chiara to compete. Not anymore. How could she tell her that? How could she explain that she had wanted to use her to get to Uthor and now she just wanted … she just wanted her.

“What’s this?” Morgana asked, changing the subject. She removed an arm from around Chiara and grasped the green crystal dangling from Chiara’s neck.

“Oh, that,” said Chiara, watching Morgana adoringly as she admired the crystal. “I wear it as a reminder.”

Still grasping the crystal, Morgana looked up at Chiara, “Of what?” she asked, softly.

Chiara stared deeply into her eyes, “… I don’t remember.”

Morgana’s face fell.

Chiara’s eyes crinkled as she laughed.

Morgana tugged on the pendant, pulling Chiara toward her and using the momentum to flip them over so that she was now on top. She sat back, straddling Chiara, who sprawled out beneath her, grinning. Morgana jabbed Chiara’s stomach lightly with a finger, “You think you’re so funny.”

Chiara beamed, “You make it so easy.”

Morgana reached down and traced a delicate finger over the crystal, “What is it really for?”

Chiara propped herself up on her elbows, “It’s to remind me of home. To make sure I stay humble and remember my purpose.”

Morgana smiled sadly, “But it’s a crystal. … Do they welcome magic in House Sorrell?”

“They welcome all who are worthy,” said Chiara. “You would be most welcome.”

Morgana rolled herself off of Chiara. She drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, “I doubt that very much.”

Chiara sat up, putting a hand on Morgana’s back, “Hey,” she said, gently.

Morgana turned her head, resting her cheek on her forearm, “Hmmm?”

“Come with me, and I’ll prove it to you.”

Morgana lifted her head, “What?”

“Come with me. After the tournament.  Back to House Sorrell. If I don’t pass, I go home … and if I do, and I reject the King’s offer … It’s not like I’ll be able to stay here.”

“Are you serious?” asked Morgana.

“Completely,” said Chiara.

A vision passed before Morgana’s eyes. She and Chiara … far from Camelot. Together. Happy.

She shook her head. She was not asleep. This vision was not a prophecy; it was a fantasy that could never happen. She could never leave. Uthor would never let her. Morgause would never let her. And once Chiara knew who she really was? What would she think of Morgana? Nothing good.

“My place is here,” said Morgana. “I can’t leave.”

“But you’re in danger here,” said Chiara.

“You have no idea,” said Morgana. “But, it’s like you said, Camelot needs somebody willing to stand up against the current injustice.”

Chiara sighed.

They both turned their gaze to the flock of chickens, lost in their own thoughts.

Morgana jumped slightly as Chiara reached out and took her hand.

“Then I’ll stay,” she said, “and stand with you.”

Morgana gave Chiara’s hand a squeeze, “With me.” It was the first time she realized how truly alone she had felt until now.

“With you,” repeated Chiara, “I just have to survive the tournament first.”


	23. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kara's in the simulator, the DEO and AIC agents stand guard.

His comms were crackling again.

Agent Perrin adjusted his position, trying to find a way to rid himself of the incessant noise. Being this close to the tank room, he couldn’t tell if someone was trying to reach him or if it was simply interference from whatever systems ran the simulation.

He turned the volume up slightly on his backup walkie-talkie, just enough to confirm that it was also rolling out a wave of static. He turned it back down.

With a sigh, Perrin checked his watch.

Almost midnight. Shift change.

His eyes detected movement to his left. Without turning his head, he glanced over at Agent Martinez, who was shaking out his legs to keep them from falling asleep where he stood.

Instinctively, Perrin let his gaze sweep to the right, his mind relaxing slightly when it confirmed that Agent Peterson was still there, standing as still as a statue. Her gaze flickered over to his, as if she could feel its weight settle on her.  

He gave her the slightest hint of a smile. She nodded, almost imperceptibly, before her eyes zoned back out to their thousand yard stare.

He turned his sights forward again, down the long corridor, just in time to see a black shadow dart across the opening at the other end.

He felt his heart skip a beat.

Had he actually seen something or was it simply his eyes adjusting?

Perrin took a tentative step forward.

At his movement, he could hear Martinez and Peterson snap into ready alert.

He took another step, flinching as his comms hissed extra loudly in his ear. He popped the earpiece out, letting it hang from its cord around his collar.

The wave of silence that rushed him was more deafening than the static.

Perrin crouched, lowering himself down into a prone firing position. Martinez and Peterson signaled down their lines, before creeping toward his flanks and crouching in a covered position, behind the walls on either side of the corridor mouth.

Then they waited.

It was after midnight, and shift change hadn’t come.


End file.
